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Why can't my 10 year old DD do anything??

She can't do anything-- I asked her for a 34 days to clean her room so I could fix it up---paint, put down tile, and a area rug and stuff so she would have a nice room for her and her friends. She finally did it when I went all drill sargent on her and stood there and yelled while she cleaned. Today I asked her to put all her stuff in it spots now that everything is done, and she cannot, all the new clothes I bought her were all down off the hanger in her closet, all her crap was in the hallway, she can't hang a shirt on a hanger, she hung a coat on the hanger by the tag---she knows better!! WTH

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blue_glass_mama

Asked by blue_glass_mama at 2:10 PM on Jul. 23, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 17 (3,982 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Sounds like she hasn't had to much in the past - Really, since she whined about it the whole time before hand, you shoudln't have done all that for her with her behavior being out of line then, now she just showed you she can act disrespectful and she still gets what she needs... I would start taking away things and making her earn back all her new and old things back with good behavior and chores.
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:13 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Do you tell her this? that she can't do anything?? I hope not! put some incentive in her chores you want her to do, tell her if she is good to you , you will be good to her
    older

    Answer by older at 2:17 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Big difference here between Can't and Won't... If this were my kid she would have two options...
    1.) She can do it
    2.) I can do it... But when I do it, I throw things away!

    We do this even with our 3 & 4 year olds... If YOU pick up your toys, you get to keep them... but when I pick up your toys, they get pitched... It only has to happen once, maybe twice... But after that, they happily pick things up and keep their stuff clean without all the drama.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 2:19 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Then it all goes in the trash. If she cannot respect her stuff and your rules, then she doesn't need it.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 2:31 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • ur daughter is 10 and is seems to be that maybe she didnt have to do this when she was younger. since my son was 1 1/2 i made him clean his toys. at 17 months he would bring me the new babys diapers and also helped was his dishes. at 2 he could set the table. now that he is 3 and she is 2 they both clean their room and still he helps with the dishes. dd likes to set the table with our plastic dishes.
    knagsmom

    Answer by knagsmom at 2:44 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • She acted like she could open a close a tote today---AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH she is an A student and she has no sense, common sense uuuuuggggg as far as throwing her stuff away---we are poor and I am not throwing stuff away and we have no where to hide it untill she can earn it back. She just acts brainless--I can not take it!! And no I do not call her names or tell her she is brainless, or lazy or any of that stuff--that is why I am venting here!! I show her the correct way I want stuff and tell her to do it again and she whines----ahhhhhh, I think she got her dads lazy gene
    blue_glass_mama

    Comment by blue_glass_mama (original poster) at 3:02 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Children that age respond well to consistency & rewards. So, first of all, there needs to be a consistent pattern. For example, every morning when you get up, fix your bed. Every night after dinner, pick up your toys. Every Saturday (or another day), pick up your clothes from the laundry room & put them away on hangers and in drawers. As you introduce the schedule, describe the reward system. For example, you can use a chore chart or stickers. When she does the item, she gets a mark or a sticker (*every* time - be consistent!) When she has received a certain number of marks or stickers, she gets a reward, which can be an event (ie, go out for ice cream) or a prize (ie, choose a new toy from a bag of toys you have put together). It doesn't have to be big or expensive (& probably shouldn't be big & expensive, so you are able to reward her often), but should include some kind of choice for her, within the guidelines you have set.
    debbymichelle

    Answer by debbymichelle at 3:14 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Children that age respond well to consistency & rewards. So, first of all, there needs to be a consistent pattern. For example, every morning when she gets up, have her her bed. Every night after dinner, pick up her toys and put them away. when ever you do the laundry have her pick up her clothes and bring them to the laundry room. Show her how to wash them then dry and fold or hang them and have her put them away in drawers or closet. As she finds out how much work it is to do it maybe she will take better care of them.As you introduce the schedule, describe the reward system. For example, you can use a chore chart or stickers. When she does the item, she gets a mark (every time - be consistent!) The have a reward after she reaches so many. Like she gets to go out for ice cream or go pick a movie to rent for the night or weekend. a Have her keeps her toys in her room or put toys a way before getting another one out.
    SassyDee01963

    Answer by SassyDee01963 at 4:17 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I am with Sabrina. My kids are much younger, but they are learning that if they will not pick up their toys or clothes and put them where they go, they will lose them. I don't throw things away because I can not afford to buy new things, but I do put them where they can not find them for about a week. They are learning their lessons and working with me to keep the house clean.
    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 7:52 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

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