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My husband is becoming insecure in the bedroom, how do I get him to talk about it with me? adult content

Im pregnant with our 3rd child and we both have gained weight from the 2 pregnancies before. His penis size is smaller now and we are both aware of it! I have never said anything to him about it and never will. but i think it's really bothering him, to the point where we rarely have sex, maybe 4 times a month if i'm lucky! and when we do, it's not that long, maybe 10 mins. I try not to make him feel uncomfortable but it's killing me cause my sex drive is off the charts, lol! he knows i'm a very sexually person, but i don't want him to think that i'm cheating again. Cause we both have been down that road, somebody please help!!!!


Asked by Anonymous at 2:31 PM on Jul. 23, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Yes gaining weight for a man can make him lose his manly size. With that said, all he has to do is lose the weight. Tell him that after this baby is here "we need to get healthier". Get on a family project of losing weight. He'll gain confidence, energy and most of all his mini him will get back to the size it was.

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:46 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • maye try rubbing him and tell him hes sexy every chance you get. guys need compliments too. and when you do have sex be very loud and tell him what a good job hes doing.
    or try give him lots of BJ and show him how much yopu LOVE his penis and want it and want him


    Answer by sandraberke at 2:37 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Dang! How much weight did he gain to have his penis shrink in size??? I'd say you should both together get on a healthy diet and exercise plan as soon as you recover from this baby. If its done as a team,it'll be less stressful to him-group effort!!

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 2:34 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • really... the size goes down if they gain weight?? I didn't realize that.. huh.. learn something new everyday.. My husband was bigger when we first met and 13 years later he's about 50lbs lighter but I don't think that changed his size..

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 2:35 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I agree with you Sandra!! 100%.. be all sexy with him.. & let him know he's the only one you want!

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 2:38 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Maybe you could just mention that this pregnancy has seriously increased your sex drive and you want/need it and you just wonder why it has been so infrequent lately. If guys are stressed they don't have much of a sex drive. Maybe he thinks you don't want it? Obviously, I don't know the whole story. Does he turn you down if you start foreplay? I guess I would just ask "why haven't we been having sex ver much lately?" "Is something bothering you?"

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 2:38 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • i've done it all ladies! he knows im still attracted to him. i've tried to go down on him, he'll stop me! i ask him damn near everyday! i've told him a million times that my sex drive is crazy with this baby, he listens but nothing has changed! oh, and yes the penis size does change! dr. oz said for every 35lbs u lose u gain a inch!!! we r not super obese, my husband is 6'6 with a beer gut now thats all. and my pregnant belly is in the way now, lol! he's never had an enormous penis, and im not tripping cause size has never been an issue til now. certain positions arent working for us right now! i just want sex, and a lot of it! i think about all the time, literally! it has led me to ask strangers cause i really dont know how to fix this problem!!!

    Answer by Marna212 at 2:58 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I had the same issue! You're not the only one. It was so hard when our marriage counselor asked me in front of him "DoEs your husband satisfy you?" and I said no. =( I'm young and didn't have any Desire to have sex w/him and vice versa. And when i'd bring it up he'd flip out which is normal he's a man. And it struck like a bullet in him when i said no. But you CAN NOT ignore this. You need to sit down w/him, butter him up first, tell him how much you love him, exalt him, tell him he's a great husband man blah blah hahah you know what to say. And tell him that YOU WANT HIM TO FEEL THAT HE'S SATISFYING YOU B/C YOU LOVE HIM AND YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS FOR HIM AS A MAN. I DID THIS AND MY HUBBY OPENED UP. HOPE THIS HELPS GOOD LUCK!

    Answer by ilovemel at 3:29 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • What about getting a gym membership together? You could do some light walking on a treadmill while pregnant, and post-baby, you could really get some serious work outs in, and do it as a couple. Once the weight is gone, maybe he would feel more confident, and you would be better satisfied.

    Answer by quinnbee21 at 3:30 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I recommend working out yourself, take care of you. This will get his attention on the subject of "us". But do tell him that you want him but it has to be authentic, don't force it. Let it be a seductive glare here and a poetic compliment there. Make remarks to encourage him outside of sexual context. A comment he makes that sounds extra masculine or something he does without you having to ask. Seem very attracted to him when you thank him for what ever it is, rather than being too direct. He may miss a few of your glances or flirtation but thats ok. He'll catch on to the current you're sending but by then you'll have created something real and passionate between you. Create girl! Create! If that doesn't work chances are it's a "him thing" and you'll need a specialist. Marriage/Relationship Counselor, Tantra Instructor, if so you're welcome to contact me. If it's deeper you may want to go as far as a psychiatrist. Happy Orgasm

    Answer by mayality at 4:02 PM on Jul. 23, 2010