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2 Bumps

for those of you who give away anything that isnt cleaned up

today i told my 4 year old that he needed to clean his room (for like the millionth time) and finally put most of it in bags. my mother says not to give it away because thats too harsh for a 4 year old. i did allow him to clean some up after i started bagging, however he didnt get to go through the bags. my thought is that if he finishes whats left i will let him pick one toy out of the bags because i know i picked up some of his favorite things including his night light and piggy bank. what are your thoughts?

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Asked by mommy06and09 at 7:19 PM on Jul. 23, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 11 (531 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • He is to young for you to be so harsh/hard on him. That kind of disipline is for kids like 7 and older. Teaching him at 4 how to clean his room and you helping is ok. But trying to get him to clean it all himself is a little much. JMO

    Answer by louise2 at 7:25 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I think 4 is too young to take away his things. Work with him to clean the room. Show him what you want done. Make it a team effort for the first few times. Just my opinion.

    Answer by elizabr at 7:26 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • OMG, Toys these days cost too much money. We are selective on what we buy. My DS is 3 & knows his exact inventory of toys so he would be devestated. I would sell them on ebay if he wasn't interested anymore. But I have to say that he actually plays with everything he has. I have everything organized into boxes according to what it is (cars, stuffed animals, misc. stuff). So it is easy for him to put away himself. I tell him to clean up because I have to vacuum and I don't want to suck them up & I can't get them out (not true but it works for us). I made sort boxes from empty diaper boxes covered with contact paper and they have the handles.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 7:28 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • At four years old he is old enough to clean up after his own toys. If there are a lot of toys then what you could do is take half and put them up in storage and rotate them. Even if he plays with them all, it may be too many to keep clean for you and him. Also, you should enforce the cleaning in stead of just repeatingly telling him to do it. He has learned that you will tell him over and over. In order for my kids to clean up I have to be right there and monitor and remind them to clean up. They do a GREAT job! But if I, lets say go do something else they easily get distracted! I do not think bagging is necessary. If he refuses toclean even if you are right there I would either put him in a time out chair until he agrees to clean (4 mintues for 4 yr old). Explain that if he does not help to clean his toys he will have even more taken away since it must be too many to take care of. Kids are smart!

    Answer by AmyLynn5398 at 7:48 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I do this... The FIRST time, I didn't throw anything away, I just boxed it up and tossed it in the attic for a week... When they wanted all that stuff I made it clear that it was GONE... A few weeks later I gave them back... But beyond that, I tell them to clean up and make it clear that IF I have to clean it up, I'm gonna throw it away... They get told once and one warning... If they refuse to clean it - I toss it! They got the point by the second time and I don't have issues with them cleaning now... They are 3 & 4...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 7:52 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • We do this, and stash it in the attic. We tell the kids that the garbage man came while they were asleep because they didn't clean up. Then when they're being good, a week or so later, Daddy "calls the garbage man to see if he still has the toys" and they get a few at a time out of what was put away.

    Answer by Krysta622 at 8:24 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I think 4 might be a little young especially for a boy because they tend to have the attention span of a gnat! =) I experienced the same thing last year, but ever since DS turned 5 he has been much more responsible.

    Answer by itsjaimiehere at 9:07 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I would never do such a thing. But that's just me.

    Answer by Fallaya at 9:35 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • We take toys that haven't been cleaned after a warning, but I wouldn't give them away. When we've done this the offending toys find their place in the "away box" that lives in our basement. They stayed there until the non-cleaning child learned I meant business when I said "pick up or else." when they can keep their space in order, they can get back their missing toys. They're now 8 and almost 6. All I need to say now is "Do I need to get the box?" And they get cracking. ;)

    There are those that will disagree, but I think at 4 a child still needs a little help. I'm still willing to remind my kids to clean their space and I'm willing to help them if they're feeling overwhelmed. Start by targeting specific items not "clean your room" Say "pick up the legos first. When you're done we'll see what should be next."

    Answer by ldmrmom at 10:22 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • i have tried hiding them (but in a one bedroom apartment there isnt much space to hide it) i have tried telling him i will get rid of things, i have tried having him sit on his bed til he decided to clean i have tried cleaning with him... this is like a last resort. i feel i have tried everything else and aside from his nightlight and money he doesnt care about anything he owns. truely. he breaks his things rips his books and just doesnt care. i generally end up cleaning up after him and with in like 2 hours he has dumped everything without me noticing cause have been cleaning other parts of the apartment or dealing with dd (who is now 11 months and helping him im sure) he has too many toys and when i ask what he wants to give away he will say everything.... what do i do to that? i give up and dont know what to do.he used to be so good about cleaning up. i do the boxes with like toys so everything has a spot but he dumps them

    Comment by mommy06and09 (original poster) at 10:49 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

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