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What would you do if you were in my situation? Need help please

I have a husband who has an emotional relationship with someone online. He said that he didn't think that he loved me anymore..What should I do? He said that he was willing to put that aside and try and work on our marriage we have two beautiful children. He doesn't want to end it with this other woman but has put her to the side. What should I do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:55 AM on Oct. 2, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Im sorry but if he is in love with someone else what more can you do?
    You have to face reality and discuss seperation or he has to end all contact with anyone else and regain your trust.
    georgesmommy31

    Answer by georgesmommy31 at 12:01 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • I agree. If he's not sure he still loves u or already knows he doesn't and has told u, then it sounds like it's pretty clear that things are over. But like georgesmommy said, if you think that it may just be some kind of "phase" (for lack of a better phrase), he'll definitely have to regain ur trust again.
    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 12:10 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • is he in love or lust with this other woman,maybe she portrays herself as the perfect woman online.i could do that too if i wanted,lol. try counciling,and spending more time together,go on dates. you have to fall in love again.i'm guessing he still loves you,he just likes the thrill you get with learning someone new. re-learn eachother! he needs to end things with this other woman& focus on you. good luck.
    pam228

    Answer by pam228 at 12:18 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • He wants to have his cake and eat it too. The only way he can begin to work on the marriage is by giving the other woman up and since he won't that says that he is not commited to making the marriage work. I would throw his ass out of the house and tell him to go be with her then I would take him for everything.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 12:22 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • online relationships are full of fantasy and perfect situations. There is no stress about mortgages, kids, bills, broken cars or crabby bosses. If you want your marriage..fight for it. Tell him you need to spend time together, talking, dating and figuring out how you drifted apart so you dont do it again. Most likely..you get involved in kids...and the whole world centers around them..and you lose each other. Kids grow up and move out...Nuclear family means everything revolves around Mom and Dad..not the kids, not work not vacations. If he is willing to begin talking Fight for it.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:30 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • If he doesn't want to end it with this other women, then I would question if he really wants to work on your marriage. My husband telling me he doesn't think he loves me anymore would be the hardest thing to deal with and I'm so sorry. But he needs to be honest because now the trust is all gone. So I guess you have to ask yourself if it's worth going forward knowing that he isn't fully commited to work on things and is that really the best for you and your kids.

    MyBoyAndrew

    Answer by MyBoyAndrew at 1:16 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • If he doesn't want to end it with this other women, then I would question if he really wants to work on your marriage. My husband telling me he doesn't think he loves me anymore would be the hardest thing to deal with and I'm so sorry. But he needs to be honest because now the trust is all gone. So I guess you have to ask yourself if it's worth going forward knowing that he isn't fully commited to work on things and is that really the best for you and your kids


    I agree with this 100%, My DH had an EA with a coworker and even when he wanted to end it, it was still a month or so before it truly did. It's the emotional part that gets them- if it was just sex he could move on. The fact that he's just going to "put her to the side" is not a good sign. I'm so sorry.


    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • It seems your husband is putting you on the back burner if he isn't willing to let this other online fantasy woman go from his life and its a load of crap for him to think that he can have you at home to fulfill his manly needs and have the other woman be his  emotionalsupport or need what ever he wants to call it. you need to sit down your husband and tell him how you honestly feel about this whole ordeal lay everything out on the table. question your husband about why he thinks he's not in love with you anymore. find out what things he thinks you have or haven't done for him to stray even if its with someone online still no excuse for what he's done and probablystill doing with this other woman. I hope you are able to get too the bottom of everything that'sgoing on, for your sake and your children's sake. also remind your husband of how it will affect the children if you & he get divorced

    mncoffeemom

    Answer by mncoffeemom at 1:48 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • I'd suggest making a date night and going together to see the movie Fireproof. It's a great movie and you might find some really good points to relate back to your husband and how you feel in a similar manner to the woman in the movie.
    Andrewsmom70

    Answer by Andrewsmom70 at 3:27 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • He is telling you that he wants to try and work things out with you, yet he ISN'T willing to let this other woman go? Honey, LEAVE HIM NOW!!!!! Let this other woman have him. He will eventually realize the mistake that he made, but please don't be dumb enough to take him back. I have been in this situation before, and I was stupid enough to go back to him, and he ended up doing it to me again.
    Dark_Princess_2

    Answer by Dark_Princess_2 at 3:59 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

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