Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Being told we probably wont get married if we wait that long? Have you heard this?

My fiance and I are getting married in 2 years and have been together 3yrs (one year engaged already) and my charge nurse asked me why we were waiting that long because if we wait we might not get married. What? I never heard of this before. If I didn't think we could make it to our wedding date then I wouldn't be marrying him! We just have goals we want to achieve before we get married (pay off debt, buy a house, save money for wedding).

Answer Question
 
worriedmommy600

Asked by worriedmommy600 at 10:44 PM on Jul. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 23 (16,335 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Let it go in one ear and out the other...you know your life...others have no idea.
    Cochise

    Answer by Cochise at 10:45 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • don't let somebody else bring ya down- you're exactly right- if you didn't think you could make it that long you shouldn't be getting married!!
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 10:45 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • ya i agree with you..if your meant to get married it doesnt matter when you do it.. but atleast you are getting your life together first.. me and my hubby got married at 18 and didnt even have a wedding we went courthouse style.i always dreamed of a huge wedding and regeret it everyday.. we are at our 5 year mark in january so we are starting to save to have a renewal at 10 years and make it an actual wedding that we never had.. we are still in love as we were at 18.. we've been together since 6 and have 3 kids.. power to ya and whatever works!
    mommy2ys

    Answer by mommy2ys at 10:47 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I was just shocked that she said that...she doesn't know me personaly at all to say something like that. No one has ever told me that before. Of course I'm not worried about it, just suprised. I told my girlfriend and she couldn't believe she said that to me either but also added that usually those who have long engagements tend to not make it to the wedding. I've known several couples to e engaged for years and are now married. I was just suprised...lol, as I already said;)
    worriedmommy600

    Comment by worriedmommy600 (original poster) at 10:48 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I think you're really smart. I wish I could have had finances lined up before getting married! You go girl!
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 10:56 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I think it comes from the idea that if you wait to long you'll realize you don't NEED to be married. Before I was married, I was a huge supporter of and believer in marriage... In fact I'm a bridal consultant... But once my DH and I had gotten to the point were marriage was even in the talks, we had been living together (as if married) for 2+ years... And no longer saw a need for marriage. Now, I am married, for legal reasons, but while I would have told you early on that marriage was all about love and wanting to be together forever, now I see it as no more than an antiquated ritual and simple legal document... It has NOTHING to do with love or your relationship... But more to do with legality... Love needs no ring or document, it just is. And I think more and more people are realizing this, especially if they are engaged for long periods or living together first...
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 10:56 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • To be perfectly honest I just dont understand the waiting thing.... if it is random with no actual end date. If there is an end date then I kind of get it.

    We had a LONG engagement 1yr 10 mo... but we had a down payment on the venue, the church reserved, etc. It was simply a matter of planing an out of state wedding with all the vacations, venues, etc. lining up. That was just how it worked out.
    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 10:57 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • oh... and yes it was a money thing too. We had EVERYTHING paid off before we said I do.
    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 10:58 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I can understand what she was saying. I guess it's something I assume too w/ that long of an engagement. You don't need all those things to get married, all u need is the 2 of you. U can still save while married. DH & I got married at 20 & 21. Had our first child at 24. And bought our house at 27.
    Lynette

    Answer by Lynette at 10:58 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Oh yes, we have a wedding date. June 20th, 2012:) We just want to make sure we are financially set and have a house of our own and we dont want to be in debt from our wedding so we are saving and waiting to get our tax return (My ex husband and I claim our son every other year). We are already married in our hearts so our wedding will just be us celebrating our love and making it legal. Would I like to be married sooner? DUH!!! lol, but with our goals it is smartest to wait.
    worriedmommy600

    Comment by worriedmommy600 (original poster) at 11:02 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.