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No bashing. How long does it take to get over the hurt of leaving a relationship

Why is it..that the relationship that's made me absolutely miserable for 3 years is so hard to put to an end. He has put me through hell and back through his drug and alcohol use..and has ruined every happy moment we should have had. I've broken up with him for almost 2 weeks now. He's not even putting up much of a fight about that in itself hurts because it further confirms the feeling that he doesn't love me. I'm trying to stay strong and stick to my guns this time and I'm hurting so bad. I cant sleep at night. I have 2 small kids that depend on me and I jsut lost my job on top of this. It hurts so bad letting go...why? Why do I hurt after all the hurt he's caused me. I always loved him and he was always selfish and I can see that now. I feel so much anger and hurt and betrayel and am mad that im hurting more than him.How long will this last to anyone that's been through it?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:53 PM on Jul. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • time will heal and sticking to your guns will make you a stronger person. you tried but if he's not going along with it then there is no use. i too am a recently single mom and i have to say i'm kids are happier seeing i'm happy give it more time apply for aid things will work out hugs

    Answer by miritrose at 11:56 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • I'm sorry. There just isn't an answer for this. It does get better, but not for a while.

    Answer by lovinangels at 11:56 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • Give it six months and see how you feel... When I broke up with my ex, who was abusive as well, I didn't start feeling better until at least three months had gone by. You have to give yourself ALOT more than two weeks to feel better.

    Answer by Tes...Jacksmami at 12:02 AM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • Look at how much time you put in to it. I'm not sure if there is a formula for time it will take but since it's a death of a relationship it could be like any other death and would take up to a year to completely heal. I know each day will bring you closer to a healed stage. I remember when my x left it was like he ripped my soul open. I hurt for weeks but slowly got better. The best thing is to keep busy or it was for me.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:48 AM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • keep busy to keep your mind off of him and that horrible relationship. you were with him for 3 years, so for him to automatically be out of your life is a drastic change. you dont like the change because the relationship was so 'comfortable' for you, even tho he treated you like crap. maybe he doesnt seem to care because he was already emotionally checked out of the relationship himself, so its not even that big of a deal to him. it'll take a while, but occupy yourself by indulging in your children and trying to find a new job. good luck mama! *hugs*

    Answer by mommypeezee at 2:46 AM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • you're human. it's normal. particularly when in a relationship with an addict where love gets really twisted to begin with and your instincts of self-preservation are not tuned up. you'll make it. you might want to consider al-anon - it will help you see the patterns that you allowed in to control your relationship and twist your thinking. not only will you get support, but reinforcement to stay strong now and in future relationships, as well as alternative activities and friends.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 2:46 PM on Jul. 24, 2010

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