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what if i don't want my kids father in our lives....

it's been an ongoing battle for 9 yrs between us. we have 2.5 yr old twin boys. he cheated and chose to do what he wants when he wanted i left and came back i forgave him. i told him it would be his last chance. he was abusive and spent his time online it was hell. i left i made the move cross country I'm happy the boys are happy but now he wants to move out here. i said he can do as he pleases but i'm not ever getting back together with him. he says i'm being unrealistic and a bitch. i don't care. i told him to move on make someones elses life a misery... i simply don't want him. i don't want my kids to look up at him. he's sorry but i'm not willing to let it go.... any advice?


Asked by miritrose at 11:53 PM on Jul. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,463 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I dont think a man that's selfish and all around abusive deserves to be around their kids. what kind of example is he going to set for his kids? Is he going to teach them violence is the answer , that woman should be treated like shit? I know where you're coming from completely and agree with you

    Answer by oogiesmommy at 12:08 AM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • It sounds like you have your mind made up. So why do you continue to let him call and run rent free in your head. Do not let him do this to you. You are a strong woman, mommie. You have already did what is best for you and your children. You moved away from this situation. You owe this man nothing. You sure as heck do not have to help him move to where you guys are. I say limit contact and continue moving forward with your happiness. If Mama ain't happy, NO ONE is happy. Good luck.

    Answer by LuvdMommie at 1:14 AM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • if he's physically, emotional and/or mentally abusive to the kid I don't blame you but I wouldn't keep his kids from him just because of the things he did to you. It's elfish to keep his kids from him because of your hate for him. Then again it's up to tthe kids if they want contact with their dad but they are 2 and don't fully understand everything

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:55 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • You have thought about that before you had kids with him? Now if he is in anyway abusive or vial towards your children the courts can make it so he can't see them.

    Answer by Claudiomom at 11:59 PM on Jul. 23, 2010

  • why does he have to be abusive to the kids? it's enough he was an ass to me. why would he treat them any better? i simply don't want him in our lives and he insists on it. let the courts handle it I'm not helping him.i already have full custody.the kids are better off. a good guy will come along and will love them just as much

    Comment by miritrose (original poster) at 12:03 AM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • Some men treat their kids better, but like I said if he's mentally or emotionally abusive then I agree with you other then that I think it's selfish. You need to put your own personally feelings aside and do what's best for your kids. If he's a good dad then he should stay in their lives.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:05 AM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • No! HE IS NOT A GOOD DAD! or this would not have happened the greatest gift you can give your children is loving their mother. along with countless other reasons. yes i will be selfish these are my kids and i feel the need to protect them. i just hope he moves on and let's us live otherwise i have no problem battleing him if needed

    Comment by miritrose (original poster) at 12:10 AM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • thank you oogies mommy.

    Comment by miritrose (original poster) at 12:11 AM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • You can stop him from being an active part of your life but unfortunately he has rights to be a part of his children's life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 AM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • Wow...he wants to relocate to be near his children? Sounds like a great dad to me. You may not like him as a person, but respect him as the father of your children.

    Answer by Fallaya at 12:47 AM on Jul. 24, 2010