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Worried about my DD!

OK my DD will be 3 in Nov and things have been a bit crazy well ever since she was born. But in the past few months things have happened that I think are effecting her. First her dad was aressted(please no bashing) and then he was out but not living with us and she saw him once a week and now he is back in jail( part of his deal he was out for a few months trying to help the cops or whatever) and she is actting out worse than ever. She says no all the time. I tell her all day not to do something and she still does it. I have tied everything! I don't want her to hate me! She lost her daddy already I don't want her to emotionally lose me by hating me! I am at a lose! She has become terrible and I think she is actting out because of her daddy who she loves with all her little heart. She hasn't asked about Tuesdays so I haven't said anything, should I? Thank you ladies in advance!

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delilahsmom1177

Asked by delilahsmom1177 at 11:32 AM on Jul. 24, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 19 (7,071 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Well, three is not a terribly easy time to begin with... fun, yes, but easy, no.

    Don't make the mistake of excusing poor behavior because you feel guilty about her dad. Also, it would help me if I knew what kinds of things she was saying no to, but in general, if you want her to, say, get dressed, choose two out fits and say, pick which one to put on, to give her a little control.
    lovinangels

    Answer by lovinangels at 11:43 AM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • She says no tp everything! I'm not even kidding! Delilah don't do that you'll fall and break your neck she still goes. Delilah we need to go no etc etc EVERYTHING!!!! I try my best to do what needs to be done but I find myself at the end of the day worrying she's going to grow up and hate me!
    delilahsmom1177

    Comment by delilahsmom1177 (original poster) at 11:47 AM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • What she is dealing with is probably separation anxiety. She loves you both, but she misses her daddy. You really should talk to her about it... she is old enough to understand that you both love her and that her daddy had to leave. Tell her that you are not going to leave her and comfort her when she is stressed out. Make sure that you set limits for her, though, such as no hitting or whatever she does that could hurt her or others. Make sure she knows that she can tell you how she feels and if she will not talk to you about it, give her a stuffed animal to let her emotions out on, i.e. "This is puffy. He can help you when you are feeling sad or angry. You can hug him and tell him how you feel" (you can listen to what she tells the stuffed animal and get an idea of what she is feeling). It is important for her to have an outlet for all the emotions she is still too young to understand.
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 11:49 AM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • Also, because she is emotionally vulnerable does not mean that she should not be punished for disobeying you. Try time out. It works. She needs rules and limits right now. Here is a good web page with guidelines for time out - http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/t061900.asp.
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 11:52 AM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • nee, what great ideas thank you soooo much!
    delilahsmom1177

    Comment by delilahsmom1177 (original poster) at 11:55 AM on Jul. 24, 2010

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