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I get really sick of...! adult content

asking an anonymous question to find ways to help my relationship and having people tell me I'm with the wrong person! We're married. Sure we used to talk all night long, and we used to have an amazing relationship.. they wouldn't call it hard times for nothing! I'm not giving up on the love of my life just because we're having a rough patch... I don't jump from guy to guy just to find one that fits perfectly 100% of the time. .. I can settle for fitting perfectly 90% of the time.
Anyway, just a vent...

And if you have any ADVICE for helping converse with your DH I would greatly appreciate it.


Asked by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on Jul. 24, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • That is the way of this world, but it takes time, and motivation. Not just a robotic go along with because you have to. Women and men are individual, why be so serious when life is already serious enough, let it go, and it works. If we try to bat a ball too hard or too much even then it gets ridiculous. I just go with the way the Lord told me, and it's not to enable, or get upset. I forward any advice as long as it's good healthy and sane. Nobody here is perfect. We all have days, and months, like hot summers that aren't perfect. Just get interested in something and keep a light cheerful attitude. Nobody said it was like a novel, or a scene from heaven.

    Answer by coffeeyum at 4:04 PM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • yeah - i hear ya... there are alot of people on here who don't understand that relationships require work and that you don't just lightly give up on marriage.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 3:58 PM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • I'm sorry you've hit a rocky patch but part of the beauty of cafemom is the variety of answers you get. If everyone is telling you to get out of the relationship, maybe you need to take a look at how you phrase your questions or take a look from the the outside in. Your children (if you have them), learn by watching and your daughters will look for someone like their father, your sons will treat women the way your husband treats women. You are modeling behavior that they are soaking up.

    The solution I can think of here, is don't ask the question if you aren't ready for the answers you receive. Good luck in your relationship, I hope it works out for the best for you.

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 4:00 PM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • marriage is not easy. it requires a lot of work. people who dont realize that are the ones who end up divorced. we have the same problem sometimes, just dont have anything to talk about. but sometimes silence is golden. and sometimes it's awkward.

    Answer by jennifer588 at 4:01 PM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • You kinda have to sort though these answers sometimes.
    Some ladies don't really care to help or are not in position to give advice.
    When I need to get things off my chest I write DH a letter,
    boy does he hate to get them, 'cause he knows he's in trouble.
    That way it saves arguing back and forth, you don't forget what you wanted
    to say, and you don't get cut off. Try that maybe it'll work for you.
    PLus sometimes when you tell a guy something, it just flies over his head,
    He never heard you so he's not going to improve or whatever. Good Luck!

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 4:17 PM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • Everyone has their own answers and opinions about things. So if you ask a question, be prepared to hear it all. Just sift through and find what you need.

    Have you tried talking about things that he's interested in? I know that when I felt my dh and I weren't talking enough, I just started asking him a lot of questions about his work and hobbies. I asked him about his presentations, how his boss was treating him. I asked him to show me how to do things that he was really good at, like how to do things on the computer.

    Men love to show off what they know and like. When you ask them about those things, they light up and are usually happy to converse with you. After a while they'll even show more interest in the things you like. Try it if you haven't already.

    Then again, a lot of men just don't like talking at all. But showing an interest in their interests definitely helps in most cases.

    Answer by moniquinha at 4:20 PM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • Men are not really the conversing type like women are. Men speak to say something purposeful. They don't just chit chat. So maybe once the courting and honeymoon stage was over he decided that the relationship was stable enough that it didn't need more conversing. One relationship doctor on tv said couples should spend ten min a day talking about each other. Not bills or kids or weather but about each other. Try that and see if it works.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:05 PM on Jul. 24, 2010

  • I've learned to just pick my battles and if we are arguing we take time outs before it gets out of hand (most of the time) but we really try and dh is not an easy person to talk to, I swear he should have been a lawyer he's sooooo annoying to disagree with, and since his opinion is absolute in every situation we tend to disagree a lot. ;) But, I just take it in stride if it's unimportant and let him think it's okay to mix his clothes in the wash (he does his own laundry) and then let him wonder why his have pulls and loose strings on them from being washed with towels.

    Answer by marine_wife0520 at 5:35 PM on Jul. 24, 2010