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Am I being an obnxious daughter in law by letting this bug me?

Should it bother me that my in-laws call maybe a few days before they show up from another state...They never ask, they just say things like I think we'll be there Wednesday, then call Wednesday night and say our plane arrives at 10 tomorrow.... Plus my husband is out of town for 13 weeks....

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:19 PM on Oct. 2, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • yeah that's pretty rude. howbout you try, sorry, this isn't a good time. a good hotel in the area is _____.
    teri4lance

    Answer by teri4lance at 2:20 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • They should respect you and your household enough to ask to come or wait until they are invited. That would get to me also. I think that you should bring it up to your husband and see what he thinks. Also, think about it from his end. Would you feel the same way if it were your parents?
    love_my_boys

    Answer by love_my_boys at 2:21 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • Not at all. Family or not they should first call to see if those days work for YOU (you have a family and a life to consider) and if they do then say that they would like to come see the family and then continue with making arangements. Its not fair to assume that you will always be there with open arms. What if you and your SO (god forbid) were in the middle of a HUGE blowout fight and considering divorce and then they call and say "we are almost there!" Not cool. Not cool at all.

    Try this...the next time that they come, when they are getting ready to leave, ask them when they plan on coming next. If they say that they don't know, tell them that if they give you more than a weeks notice, then you will be able to have more activities planned, the house cleaned, etc. you know, be prepared for them? Maybe they will get the hint.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 2:23 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • Id be pissed...That is rude,,,,,,,mine do tha...now wedont speak,,i leave the house when they come.......I couldnt take it,,It is better this way.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:25 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • Does it bother your husband they do this.You should tell your husband to talk to them about it. Or if you feel comfortable about talking to them do it your self..They might not even know it bothers you.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 2:27 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • My MIL is on this site, so I will post anonymous this time. Yes, they did that a couple times the first few yrs we were married. The next time I answered the phone and said..."You are, oh my, we won't be home. We made plans with my family a month ago" We left and spent the weekend at my Moms who was thrilled and they never just showed up again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • Thanks Ladies..I posted the question. I've tried EVERYTHING. I've even said point blank, "Could you at least call and give me some notice so were not busy?" And they reply oh it's fine we can entertain ourselves. Sometimes they stay with us and sometimes at my BIL but I just get annoyed they don't ASK! My parents would never dream of not asking and they only come up a 1/4 of the amount that my in-laws do. My husband thinks it's fine and thinks I'm just being silly that all family is like that. So I was thinking maybe my family was just uptight! Thanks ladies for the reassurance....I just want a weekends worth of notice....I work and lets face it my house isn't spotless most of the time. They may say they don't care BUT I DO! I don't want people in my messy house, afterall they are my in-laws and I still like to make a nice impression (even after all these years).
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:54 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • YOU NEED TO TELL THEM TO STAY HOME UNTIL THEIR SON GETS BACK HOME. AND WHEN HE GETS HOME MAKE HIM TELL THEN TO PLAN NEXT TIME RATHER THAN JUST DECICING TO COME OVER
    NATTY567

    Answer by NATTY567 at 3:00 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • Answered at 2:00 PM on Oct. 2, 2008 by: NATTY567
    YOU NEED TO TELL THEM TO STAY HOME UNTIL THEIR SON GETS BACK HOME. AND WHEN HE GETS HOME MAKE HIM TELL THEN TO PLAN NEXT TIME RATHER THAN JUST DECICING TO COME OVER

    They shouldn't be refused time with their daughter-in-law or their grandchildren just because their son is away. We live in Missouri, but our families both live in Illinois. I make frequent trips back, but my husband doesn't always come with because of his work. I always go over there, just me and our daughter so they can see her and me.

    WadeMom313

    Answer by WadeMom313 at 3:46 PM on Oct. 2, 2008


  • I would die if my husband was gone and I had to stay with in -laws by myself.
    iloveprater

    Answer by iloveprater at 4:44 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

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