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2 Bumps

How do I stop my sons bitting?

I'm a mother of 16 month old twin boys and they started bitting, but they only bite each other and my husband and I. We will tap their mouth and tell them no and that it hurts. We have been told to bite them back, but we feel that teaches them the wrong lesson. We don't know what else to do.

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Asked by G462er at 11:32 AM on Jul. 25, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • not a lot of people agree with me on this one.. but when my son did this we thump his bottom lip. Not hard but hard enough to let him know it hurt. And we would sternly tell him no we don't bite people that is mean. You could try time outs but imo at this age they don't work to good. Because when by the time the time out is over they have forgotten what they did and they don't understand the talk you give them afterward.

    Answer by mrsbean08 at 11:36 AM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • when my son did this i would "pop" his mouth and he would do it again. my babysitter who had SEVERAL kids said the best thing to do is to bite back, just enough to hurt a little so they know it hurts. it does work, he stopped biting shortly after that.

    Answer by angevil53 at 11:40 AM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • My oldest was a biter....really bad. He would take "chunks" out of whoever he bit! I asked our pedi at the time what do to and she told me to bite him back as hard as he bite me....only took about 3 times and he stopped.

    Answer by how_reb at 11:43 AM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • first..know how good it feels to bite. it works, it gets big reactions, nothing like it when you are mad and your words are don't do it...stopping the pattern is a internal process for kids. If they must sink their teeth into something~use the apple. Lots of emotional talk~what we feel like, what we can do~wait, ask for it, deal to get it....

    I can catch a biter in motion~either with a forehead block or my palm covering their mouth before they that arm. It is a good sign they are on the verge of big change~

    Answer by surfcitymom at 11:45 AM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • also don't give them a reaction when they do it.. like laugh or yell owe because even your painful yelp will make them think the biting is fun.

    Answer by mrsbean08 at 11:50 AM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • time outs. i would not bite my child...

    Answer by kidnappedbylove at 1:02 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • I agree with you OP that biting back sends the absolute wrong message. Here is an action that I don't want you to take, a behavior that is painful and that we find unacceptable, but I am going to use that same behavior and model it for you (supposedly as a teaching tool). I disagree with all the violent advice. When my daughter was their age, or a little younger I think, she was nursing. So, I did get one or two bites to the boob. I put her down and told her that it hurt and that she couldn't have milk if she wanted to bite. The biting stage was so short I don't even remember it, it must have lasted a day or two. What do your boys want when they bite and what do they feel? Do they want attention? Do they feel angry? I think you need to get to the root of what they feel and then find a more acceptable way and model that for them. Example, if they want attention, form a signal and give them full attention when they use that,,,

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 2:26 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • signal, be it a noise, or hand motion, or what have you. If they are angry because they are having something taken from them, or having trouble sharing, or whatever, use your words to express it for them and then find tell them and model the way you'd like them to react. If there is a sharing dispute, maybe you want them to call out for you and you can help them figure it out, instead of biting each other. Just as one example.

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 2:27 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • Okay, I must one of the few moms that bit her kid because nothing else would work. I only had to bite her twice. The second one was the one that got her attention and when I said we don't bite other people it hurts "see". She hasn't bitten me or anyone else since she was 12 mos old and the pinching started at 14 or 15 mos. I pinched back. I think that it sends the wrong message that you haven't found a way to stop the bad behavior and they are being allowed to get away with it. We use several different methods of punishment here and when I make a threat I follow through. I have a very well behaved 2 year old who only gets out of hand when she has a peer who is 19 mos old over that isn't very disciplined in her own home. You have to decide what kind of standard that you want your kids to follow. I wish you luck.

    Answer by coala at 2:32 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • bite them back, you have to show them how it hurts if the tapping and saying no doesnt work. it wont take long to stop...

    Answer by AshJoe05 at 7:36 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

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