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2 Bumps

Do your inlaws expect your hubby to...

take care of house work for their parents (hubby's grandparents)? We live some what close by to DH's grandparents, so grandmother is constantly asking DH to do stuff around the house like mow the lawn, yardwork, pick up mail, water plants (when she travels) etc. We have a 1 yr old and hubby's on vacation this week because our son's turning one this week, so we have lots of family plans, but I feel like DH's grandmother, uncle's wife, and inlaws are constantly bugging DH to do stuff, even though they all live relatively close by and none of them have kids under 6 like we do.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:37 PM on Jul. 25, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Put your foot down. Tell them that you have family plans and that you're unable to take care of things for anyone else this week. Don't let them make you feel bad. Let them know that they're all capable of helping her out if she needs it. Don't be a pushover. Take your vacation with your husband and don't you dare feel a single ounce of guilt! Enjoy yourselves!
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 4:01 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • Not being bothered by certain people in our lives is the number one reason we got caller ID. We simply screen calls. People can only use you if you let them.. Your choices are either to confront the whole situation, or avoid some of the contact by screening calls.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 2:41 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • Able bodied relatives are sometimes called upon. My husband is expected to help out our elderly relatives. My sons expected that they would be and they are and were. It's something we do because they are family.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 2:44 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • Ha...when my fil had shoulder surgery, they called dh to go over there and take the trash out. The trash cans have wheels....why couldn't mil do it? She never wants to drive, so they expect us to drive for them a lot. She's not in bad health or with vision problems.....it can get a bit ridiculous.
    BridgetC140

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 2:41 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • No.. But we will always care for my mothers yard. and im sure one day we may help with his grandmothers yard.. His mom lives an hour away so i dont think we would ever be doing her yard though- though i would not mind..
    MommaTasha1003

    Answer by MommaTasha1003 at 2:43 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • No, but we don't live close to either of my husband's grandparents - one lives two hours away, the other lives six hours away.

    It's common to ask family to help out if they live close by; when my parents go on vacation, they always ask me to get their mail and water their flowers and veggie garden. Other relatives live close by too, but even though we have multiple small children and some other relatives don't have ANY kids, we are the ones asked to help out because we live closer.

    I will say, though, that when we go over my husband's parents' house they constantly ask him to do stuff - not mowing or yardwork, but things like cooking dinner or picking up pizza (yeah they invite us over for dinner then ask my husband to cook it/go get it) or going to the grocery store for them, or taking his mom (or his little brother, before he started driving) to work. That really bothered us, but they don't do it as much now.


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    SAHM_USAF

    Answer by SAHM_USAF at 2:50 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • I help an older woman in my neighborhood all the time because her kids will not. She is such a sweet person and has become one of my favorite people. I consider it a blessing to know her. We have a great time together and she is very giving...in what she can do for me, which is not much. I love being exposed to the wisdom life has given her. I do not feel like she is taking advantage of me, she just can not do it all anymore.

    However, even though she has to use a walker, she still gets out and rides the lawn mower. She is not looking for a free ride, just a little help. I can do things so much easier and faster than she can and do not feel it is a burden.
    Gene_Godwin

    Answer by Gene_Godwin at 2:53 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • Nope. My DH's grandmother had 7 children. HER own kids take care of housework if she needs them to.
    KairisMama

    Answer by KairisMama at 2:56 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • Isn't that what families are for?? I would do anything to help out my fam- especially grandparents, wouldn't you hope they would do the same for you??
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 2:56 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • Mine expect him to give them money every month on top of paying his little brother`s school fees even if my fil works full time. We even accomodate his uncles whenever they are in town. Am sooo up to here with them
    maimutsa

    Answer by maimutsa at 3:00 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

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