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4 Bumps

Am I crazy? [please be serious] adult content

My fiance and I constantly butt heads, but honestly, it feels more one-sided. I am usually VERY headstrong and never really back down if I disagree with something someone says. (Bitch. Another word, I'll be honest.) But most of the time, I feel like I let him walk all over me just so we don't into bad fights like we have before. I NEVER put myself first, it's always my kids, (obviously, and I wouldn't want to ever put them second!) him, and the family's needs. He, however is always planning to spend money on himself.
Am I feeling hurt at his wanting to buy himself stupid things like a ps3 because it's a feeling of my kids and I being little or no priority and I already feel like I let him get his way? Or could it be I am selfish? Does this even make sense?

 
SimplyMadness

Asked by SimplyMadness at 5:57 PM on Jul. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (500 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • There is a difference between being a bi*ch and saying what you want in the relationship. You can tell him how you feel in a nice way then allow him to make up his own mind. Don't fight about it. Just tell him. He might surprise you. Either way, you can play the playstation too!
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 8:36 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • makes sense too me u need to tell him grow up u have kids they come first when they are taken care of u can get what ever the hell u want and don't let him step all over u either stand your ground
    cnoble927

    Answer by cnoble927 at 6:00 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • does he tell you his plans? does he make sure the kids and the family as a whole has everything before he plans on spending on himself? if yes, and you have the money for him to spend on himself, then i see no problem with it. (although if it's something like a ps3 or something expensive, we talk it over, he doesn't just tell me and then go get it) if he does not do these things, then yes, i'd be upset too. just talk to him about it, and tell him how you feel about it all
    armywife43

    Answer by armywife43 at 6:03 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • it just sounds like you have a little boy for a boyfriend. i see it as I do to. buying things for himself versus thinking of his kids leaves a bad taste in my mouth as it seems to you as well. not sure what to tell you as I am stuck too :( you are not alone.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 6:11 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • i will let my dh buy whatever he wants IF all the bills are paid and the kids are taken care of. after that its whatever. he makes the money NOT me i am a SAHM. but in the same toekn you dont want to back down from your beliefs. this will only cause trouble in the long run. speak your mind.but try and do it in a non harsh way. like just simple talking. either that or start taking money from the account and "hideing " it ??
    sandraberke

    Answer by sandraberke at 6:11 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • @Sandra, he doesn't really discuss paying anything, until he's "budgeted" whatever he wants. We both make money, so HIS he wants to spend his way.

    And yes, it is like having a little boy along with my two girls.
    SimplyMadness

    Comment by SimplyMadness (original poster) at 6:15 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • I would be mad and I would sit him down and have a talk with him about priorities.
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 7:00 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • I think your not being selfish its him who is being selfish. Yall should have a serious talk
    Tryin4GodsAngel

    Answer by Tryin4GodsAngel at 7:35 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • I dont really see much harm, although it is inconsiderate of him. You gotta pick your battles though. Is this worth fighting over?
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 7:36 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • Wait a second, are the kids his? If so is he contributing to the household bills equally or are you the one with the bulk of the bills?
    IF you have the bulk of the bills and no play money I can see the reason to be upset because he's only looking out for himself and not considering your needs. If so you need to work on this issue with him before marraige because it's a hard one to change. Perhaps setting a fair and equal budget would go a long way in easing this.
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 7:49 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

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