Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Here it goes! I need to vent! So long story short. My husband has a friend or a so called female friend.

That has done a lot for him in the past and she was there for me when we had our baby. For that I am greatful. But, she seems to hold everything over our head like we owe her something and she some how owns control of our life.(she does this to everyone and thinks its ok) My husband is the nicest person ever and jumps for her and her family every time they need something. But, I am tired of it. I am tired of being taken advantage of and expected to do things. I am on fire everytime I even hear her voice. I am tired of the way she talks lik my husband is just a stupid man and that I should make choices with out him. Well now we are getting ready to buy a house and she is a mortage loan officers and was helping us. But, I don't want to use her. I dont want her holding it over my head that she helped us get in a house.. And I KNOW that she will. Don't I have the right to say I'm not usng you? Will it make me a bad person?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:32 PM on Jul. 25, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Of course you have that right. I would feel the same way.

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 8:34 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • If I were you I would find a different mortgage loan officer to work with. I would just tell her that you prefer not to mix business and friendship and if she gets offended and upset too bad. You have the right to work with whoever you want, and you have the right to enjoy your new house without her ruining it by claiming all the credit and holding it over you.

    Answer by MizLee at 8:39 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • This woman obviously needs to learn how to do things from the heart and to set boundaries. I would go with a different loan officer as well.

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 8:42 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • I don't understand what any female who has not one connection with your life, (except suggestions or something) would have such a power over something like your own choice. It's a choice to get your own house, that you made alone. Regardless of who is in the banking arena. You need to cut all ties, and leave her behind for good. For your own good. Go get your house already.

    Answer by coffeeyum at 8:47 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • If you know she is that kind of person, I don't understand why you have let her do stuff for you for so long !
    You can't both get the favors and then b.... about how she treats you after, when you knew she would !

    I'm not saying she is a lovely person - she's not - but you have to choose who you deal with and let stay in your life, and you have to choose wisely, not out of guilt.

    You've got the right idea - cut her out of the equation !

    Answer by Nynne at 8:57 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • And be straight up w/ is she to learn if nobody ever told her she a pain :)

    Answer by Nynne at 9:00 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • You don't have to get your mortgage through her! Tell her you don't want to mix your friendship up with business and leave it at that. You'd be making her privy to all of your personal financial information and sounds like that's the last thing that you'd want. I'd hate to have a person like that knowing how much money I make... imagine the possibilities.

    Answer by beckcorc at 9:20 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • I would tell her exactly how I feel because if you dont she will never know

    Answer by LiLJeni at 10:21 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • I would tell her exactly how I feel because if you dont she will never know

    Answer by LiLJeni at 10:22 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

  • In this case don't mix business with friendship

    Answer by mamaofficer at 10:28 PM on Jul. 25, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.