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What helps you keep your cool when ur kids act out?

I find that I flip out at my kids a lot! Dont get me wrong, they are good kids but they know how to drive me up the haywire! They are only 3 and 2, and they dont listen unless I yell or hell even spank. Timeout DO NOT work with them and spanking sometimes doesnt work either. I find that I keep having to tell them not to do the same things over and over and over again. They just seem to never ever learn. And I find that I am going overboard sometimes yelling at them or spanking them way too hard. I know its wrong and I do want to change because I feel so guilty afterwards. But how do I stop myself from going over the edge when they misbehave? Please give me some advice. Please dont bash me, I feel so guilty already. I envy moms that can keep their cool when their kids misbehave. I just need some advice. THANK YOU!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:24 AM on Jul. 26, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (10)
  • Remembering that they are just a child, and I'm the adult. That and how much I love them and I've seen just how being patient with them and keeping calm when they misbehave helps them stay calm too and lets them know I'm in charge.
    But don't think I haven't lost my cool:)
    Heathercurlz

    Answer by Heathercurlz at 1:28 AM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • maybe try yoga or something to release the stress.... have you tried taking privlages or toys away? I'm sorry I'm not much help but my son is only a year and he is my first.... I wish you the best of luck and that your asking for help shows how good a mother you are!
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 1:29 AM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • Ignore the behavior, remove them from the situation, or take away whatever is causing it. Sometime you need to treat the situation, not the child. If your over reacting a lot sometimes that will make your kids NOT listen because they're use to it and don't think anything of it.

    Are you sure what they're doing is THAT bad? Sometimes you need to turn a blind eye because even "bad" things can be a learning experience (as long as its not life-threatening).

    I'm not saying don't discipline, but maybe you should choose your battles more.
    Deathlilly

    Answer by Deathlilly at 1:29 AM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • Prosac.....
    Blabbermouth

    Answer by Blabbermouth at 1:34 AM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • smokin
    alexis_06

    Answer by alexis_06 at 1:41 AM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • I have been mom to two irish spitfires for six years. My oldest was pretty much golden til her sister was born. Amazing what another addition does to the household. When her lil sister began walking that's when the action really began. She was NOT to play with ANY of her toys. She could NOT be in the same area her sister was in UNLESS she wanted her to be. She didn't get choice about ANYTHING til she got HER choice. It was a real struggle. Now at 6 and 3, tables turned a bit. My six year old has calmed down somewhat. She plays really good with her sister. Not so much on her terms anymore. Yet my spunky 3 year old thinks she should get her way about EVERYTHING. Even resorting to hitting her older sister. I know when things get to be TOO much...listening to their constant bickering tires me out SO fast! Yet as I tell them I AM THE MOMMY! So they get seperated into different areas for time outs. Then I take a quick time out. cont
    truetigress

    Answer by truetigress at 3:04 AM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • You need a time out if you feel frustrated by your children's bickering. You can't just go in guns a blazin because they will tune you out faster than if you were some news show on tv. My youngest gets straight out of time out and goes back over to "finish where she left off" and hit her sister. I actually know it's going to happen so now I follow her in the room her sister is in. The moment she reaches back to hit her that's when I yell in a stern manner. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? DO YOU WANT ANOTHER TIME OUT?" The reaction is always "NOooooo". I am trying to tell them both not to touch the other one unless they are giving each other a hug. Still it helps to take your own time out. Get your bearings back. Where you know right from wrong they are just learning...even if it's been your thousandth time telling them that. I feel the attention span shortens after yellling at them anyway.They are masters at tuning us out
    truetigress

    Answer by truetigress at 3:11 AM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • Time outs do work, some times you need to go to time out though. As I speak my son (2 1/2) is playing in his room while I"m in "time out". He is not listening, repeteing behaviors, testing limits. . . to the point I want to spank him so. . . into his room he goes and into my room (with the TV and chocolate) I go. AHHHH time out. . . why do they fight it.

    I also have started a positive reward jar for my son where good actions like listening (and going potty in the potty) earn marbles and a full jar (large baby food jar) earns a reward like picking a favorite dinner. . . I'll let you know how it goes. . . no marbles so far.

    good luck
    chrissmom734

    Answer by chrissmom734 at 12:05 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • depends on what there doing. I would say put them in the there room give them some thing else to do and go take a short break while they are in there room-rooms. Even if you have to close there door for a few minutes. Just make sure they are safe in there for 5 - ten minutes and calm your self down. If it is not a dangerous thing they are doing move them to something else. Walk away count to 10 or 100 hundred breath deep then try talking to them and tell them why you do not want them to do ?????????
    Try not to punish when your upset bc you over react when upset or angry.
    SassyDee01963

    Answer by SassyDee01963 at 2:43 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • depending on what's going on...
    put yourself in their shoes.
    WE know not to do specific things, but they don't.

    get down and talk to them on their level.

    with my son, we started a green/yellow/red card system.
    when he misbehaves, he gets a warning. again? a yellow card. he's never went to red so we've not set a punishment for that.
    mckomet

    Answer by mckomet at 9:20 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

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