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help i need some in put from others what would u d

the man has problems not only lovin two women i think mid life and bipoler goin on ive been with this man 4 9yrs i love him im wondering move on or stand bye him it hurt to go though this he luvs me and the exwife which he swared on his life he hasnt been with her sexualy and is not sleepin with either one cuz its not right until he knows what he wants alls i know is he want both right know if im not already confused hurt angery its so hard cuz he has no awnsers for me i want to know he says i dont know wow make me feel so unsure of alot of things after all this time i thought he was over her after all the things she put him through at least i can say i have done thing like she has done he said ididnt do anything wrong its him that needs to fix what is goin on inside of him not sure hmmmm

Answer Question
 
shell395

Asked by shell395 at 2:13 AM on Jul. 26, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (15 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • how do u know for sure hes not sleeping with her?
    christina10140

    Answer by christina10140 at 2:16 AM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • So, first thing, are you guys married or are you dating? Because, after 9 yrs, if you're not married and he's not sure if he wants to get back with his ex or not, then, honestly, I don't mean this mean at all, but it's not you he wants to be with.

    If you're married, and he's not sure if he wants to be with his ex or with you, then it sounds like a case of "the grass is always greener" and he just can't commit to a relationship long term - when it gets hard, he wants to bail. Or, he did have a mid life crisis - that was why they got divorced - and now he's coming out of it and regrets it.

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:34 AM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • cont

    Whether you're married or not, you deserve someone who knows he wants to be with you, especially after 9 yrs. You have the right to expect a commitment from your man at that point - one that involves him not wondering if he wants to really be with his ex!

    You can choose to insist on couples counseling, or you could insist that he stop being around her (if you trust him to really not be around her, that is...), or you can end it until he knows what he wants (understand, though, that he might decide that you aren't what he wants, or, that you are, but YOU have moved on...).

    gl!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:37 AM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • Oh, sorry - what I would do - if he is THAT torn between us, I would leave until he figured it out.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 2:38 AM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • If he really loved her and the divorce was his fault. You are in a no win. My ex husband got married to another woman and still saw me. Like someone asked are you sure he isn't making love to her. I didn't know that he had eloped for about 6 months. I thought he was single and he was coming over and we were still making love. We divorced because he couldn't stay out of jail not because of the sex. When I found out I was sick for the new wife. When I asked him why, he said because he didn't like how she made love and it wasn't as good for him and he was faking it... WTH??? why get married right?? Check his cell phone records... ask a friend to follow him. You need to know if he won't tell you the truth.
    Wittyprncess

    Answer by Wittyprncess at 3:20 AM on Jul. 26, 2010

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