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when you want your kids to help with chores???

If and when and how, do you manage a chore list.?

Do they fight back?

What to do with them when they won't adhere to the list??


Asked by coffeeyum at 11:39 AM on Jul. 26, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 17 (4,486 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • My daughter has been doing her chores since she was 2 1/2. We add to it every year, and also pay her a little more allowance every year. When she doesn't want to do something, she looses something. Usually a privilege that goes with the chore. She doesn't clean after the dogs, she can't sleep with the puppy, she doesn't clean her room, she looses the tv in there, she leaves stuff in the living room, she looses everything left in here for a week.
    But we rarely have any problems. She's really good about doing them. She knows what's expected of her and she does it. :-)

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 11:43 AM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • My son just has few jobs- he takes the garbage can to the curb and brings it back on Mondays. He also takes the recyclables out to the bin throughout the week. He just know s that these are his jobs and he doesn't get to leave the house till they're done.

    You could try a chart on the fridge, paying them an allowance or taking away privledges if they don't get the chores done.

    Answer by skittles1108 at 11:42 AM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • They do them or they get grounded from the fun things they like to do. No questions asked. I don't have a list, they just know what they have to do, like clean their bathroom, bedrooms, dishwasher, and keep their shoes and toys picked up... They are 6, 7 and 13 yrs old. They don't get an allowance, they have dirtbikes, they don't want to lose them.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:43 AM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • These things always take the wrong turn. It's as though they feel privileged to have a mom.

    I am stopping some chores (mine) and until these are done, and started right, and finished properly than I'll see progress. I expect respect, but more than that . Get your responsible shoes on and start to build task --=====skills..

    our children have none. I see the dad as fault since he never enforces any rules and treats them regarless.

    Comment by coffeeyum (original poster) at 11:47 AM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • There is a great Love and Logic book and CD called "Didn't I Tell You To Take Out The Trash?"

    You let them know what they are expected to do and give them a deadline at some point in the future. You don't nag them or remind them about it. When the deadline comes and they haven't done it there is a consequence. You don't yell or lecture about what they didn't do - you let the consequence do the teaching for you. The specific consequence will depend on your child's age and personality. For my daughter missing out on doing something fun or losing something she likes work best. For instance, she loves going to the store with me, so when she forgets to do something by a given deadline it really bothers her to have to stay home and finish the chore while I go to the store without her.


    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 11:58 AM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • My children have been taught all along that they are expected to contribute to the household by doing chores. It is not optional, it is required. They understand what they need to do and understand that there are consequences if they haven't done what they were responsible for.

    Answer by justnancyb at 10:32 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • You can start them out when there young. By having them pick up there toys. Then as they get older have them help you with the washing and folding clothes. Even if it is pushing the baskets for you. At that point they think it is fun and add a little more as they grow. At 2 or 3 my dd was helping with the dishes. She was mostly playing in the water but also learning. There are so many was to go about doing it that can be fun then when older add things like folding there own clothes or helping you put them away. Sweeping the floors and more as they get older. I say at firt make it fun and they will do it with out fighting .

    Answer by SassyDee01963 at 12:16 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I have used quite a few favorite was the sticker chart. I had listed EVERYTHING that was expected of him on one side of a board. Then on the other side was the things over and above what was expected of him. My son had trouble remembering (lazy) to do nornal, everyday actions, such as brushing teeth, hair, making bed, etc. I was sooo tired of "reminding" him every day so I wrote down everything. Each day, after completing each one, he would put a sticker by the task. Then at the end of the week he totaled them up and I had a premade chart of rewards. He could choose to "save" the points for a better reward or use them immediately. However, the only way to earn actual money was to complete tasks on the chart that listed things over and above what was expected of him. These would include, grass cutting, picking up pinecones, cleaning bathroom, helping his grandmother with cleaning, etc.

    Answer by finallypaws at 8:12 AM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • I feel that children should not be paid for daily tasks that they are expected to complete. However, they should be rewarded for going above and beyond their daily duties. The idea worked great and now I don't have to use the charts at all. The daily duties that I had to repeat all those days, just comes natural to him now. Thank God!!! I never thought I would see the day. And as far as the allowance tasks, he does these as well without needing the chart system. There are also a lot of great ideas online if you google chore chart systems. That's where I got started originally. Good luck to you.

    Answer by finallypaws at 8:15 AM on Jul. 28, 2010