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how can i make a mends with my daughter when she wont talk to me

i dont agree with a certain decision that my daughter has made so we had a very bad argument she told me that she will never speak to me again and she is going to move back down south even though i strongly believe she made a bad decision i still would like to have a relationship with my daughter i called her cell phone and left her messages she never called me back should i just take a step back and leave her alone or should i continue to call her

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lashawn720

Asked by lashawn720 at 6:39 PM on Oct. 2, 2008 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (9)
  • I am 22, and recently had a blow-out with my mother as well. In my particular situation, it was best for my mother to just leave me be. I said terrible things to her, told her I did not want to see her ever again. She was hurt, and I know I could have expressed my anger in other ways, but what was said was said. THAT being said, she left me alone for a good 2 months before giving me a call to see if it was alright to come visit her grand daughter. I say just give her time. Let her cool down. Maybe not for 2 months, but at least a week or so, then try giving her a call and inviting her over for dinner, and DON'T mention this situation again, unless she brings it up. She is your daughter, whether you agree or not you need to support her.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 6:59 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • She is your daughter & you are her mother the love is unconditional.. I lost my mom when I was 20 & when I turned 22 I had gotten a step=mother she never tried to be my mother just my friend. She was a wonderful grandmother to my two sons. She also has passed away I have lost two mothers. I guess what I'm saying is life is short, you are here today & gone tomorrow. So what ever it takes make up with her. Because if something happens to one of you the other one is going to feel terrible. Someone has to make the move.

    Tinkerbell3396

    Answer by Tinkerbell3396 at 9:58 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • Call you tell her you love her and let's agree to disagree and table the problem.
    akhlass

    Answer by akhlass at 8:44 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I believe if you leave her be for a while, she will most likely get over her anger and possibly feel bad for saying those things to you...that's what I always did...I'd just let her be till she cools down. =]
    mafia_mama08

    Answer by mafia_mama08 at 11:13 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I have a daughter that this happens to often. We've learned to just let it go and when one needs the other they will call. It's not like she's going to stop loving you. Just tell yourself that she's spreading her wings as a young adult and she'll call when she's ready. If you can't deal with the prospect of her never speaking to you again then leave her a voice message telling her that you're sorry things ended badly and you still love her and the door is always open for her to call you. that respects her decision but lets her know that when she's over her mad spell she can call you.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:24 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • Let her just be mad awhile and as long as you reminded her that even when disagreements happen you always love her, it'll be fine, she will call when she needs you or just misses you.
    -- people miss their mom's regardless of disagreements, lifestyles, differances on any level, give your daughter enough time and she will miss you enough to put differances aside, if she doesnt contact you in a month or so then, give her another call just to ask how she is doing and remind her you love her even if she lets it go to message machine, just leave the message but give her time first.
    kingkongsmom

    Answer by kingkongsmom at 12:24 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • Well, my mother hasn't spoke to me since January. I have no clue as to why.. In most cases things do work themselves out. She will calm down. Let things cool off. My advice to you would be to call and leave her a voice mail and tell her that you love her and that you are there for her.. When she is ready to talk she will call you back.. I do hope the best for both of you!
    honeys_sugamama

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 10:35 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • Send her a heartfelt letter telling her that no matter how much you disagree, that she is your daughter and you will always love her no matter what. Keep on trying to establish contact in a very non-threatening way.

    I wish you the best of luck!

    Snowcorgi
    Snowcorgi

    Answer by Snowcorgi at 11:22 AM on Oct. 7, 2008

  • the answers so far are very right....my mother and i had a huge argument and she got the whold family involved...the best thing is to step back, the more you push at all the more she's going to push away and strive to maintain that bad choice...let her come to the conclusion it was wrong and if she doesn't let her know you love her no matter what and will be there for her if she needs you.
    panda09

    Answer by panda09 at 3:55 PM on Oct. 9, 2008

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