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What was the hardest part of your divorce?

I'm getting divorced within the next year. My DH and I are not getting along and he refuses to pay for me to move back home, so I need to get a job and get some money first.

I'm just wondering what the hardest part of getting a divorce was for you. My DD is 1 right now, and DH and I used to be best friends and love eachother, but since having a kid and a few other things, we're no longer compatible.

Advice?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:24 PM on Jul. 26, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • The hardest thing for me was packing up my things and leaving. I knew I was moving in with my parents and it was hard giving up the freedom I had to go back to being under my parents roof again. However it was definetly worth it in the end, my daughter and I are much happier!
    soccerchik8287

    Answer by soccerchik8287 at 5:12 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • The anger of a failed marriage...I was in it for the long haul willing to do whatever it took...he just wanted to party and when I asked him to stop and focus on "us" he wouldn't...Then watch him live it up in life, always partying, having his fun..while i'm having to do it all on my own.
    His lies that he told..He told everyone I left him because I didn't like the fact that we lived in a small town, told other lies as well about me...to make everyone feel sorry for him..
    Funny thing is That town has 7,000 and I moved to a town of 600.
    I was resentful that I gave up everything to be a responsable parent and he refused to give up anything.
    I hear alot of women saying they hated being alone...I can handle being alone in my love life, that wasn't hard...raising kids alone
    is hard....
    The general failure of a marriage...the anger that goes with it is the hardest part
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 12:32 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • Get everything in writing. You may find that you become friends again but once 1 of you starts dating, it can change and get really ugly especially where custody, visitation, and child support are concerned.

    The worst part of mine was that once we got divorced, he wanted to try and work it out (the very next week) saying that he would change. I got tired of telling him that I was done and that's why we got divorced. I was hard to do without making him blow up. I could care less how he treated me or talked to me at that point, I just didn't want him to take it out on DD.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 12:27 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • The hardest part for me was that I was constantly seen him with the other woman. Then he would play us both back and forth telling me his still loved me but kept going with her it broke my heart knowing that he probably did still love me but that he was still having sex with someone else and even if he had wanted to get back together I wouldn't of because of who he was sleeping with I infact took an HIV test to make sure I didn't have AIDS since the other womans dh was a druggie. It does get easier keep your self busy I was just totally unprepared for my dh to leave after 20 yrs it tool me by surprise.
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 12:32 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • My ex's denial of ever having harmed me- his kidnapping our son- being stalked by him for months, and having to hide out in a safehouse for 6 months- I could go on.
    |
    You need to get everything IN WRITING, you can file a "Decree of separate maintenance" which covers your butt on all fronts- I would do it soon.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 12:32 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • I didn't go thru a divorce, but my parents did.. We had the perfect American life.. My parents never fought. After 25 years of marriage my father went thru a midlife crisis and was caught with a younger woman. I still resent him to this day. Its funny how all the young women he hung out with are no longer friends with him. Took the fun away I suppose when he was no longer married. My parents divorced when I was 18... It changed my life. i went from the perfect life, to fend for myself. Not how I imagined growing up into an adult. Its hard now because my mother never gets to come see her grandchildren, she lives a few hours away.. And my dad lives 10 minutes away.. in my childhood home, married to another woman.
    MKSers

    Answer by MKSers at 12:58 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • It's emotionally draining. I felt tremendous guilt over the fact that my daughter would not grow up with her biological father, and I worried about how it was going to effect her. I felt like a failure because I had not been able to somehow get my ex-husband to behave like an adult; I wondered if I had tried a little harder or a little longer to make it work if things would have turned out differently. I felt a lot of anger towards my ex for pushing me into this position. I also worried a lot about how I was going to support myself and a child on my own. I was depressed, and I wondered if I'd ever feel "normal" again.



    If you know that it's over and there is no hope, then make a plan for yourself.  Write your plan down and look at when you feel lost; you can always change your plan, but having one can really help when you feel drained.  Figure out who will be there for you emotionally when you need it. GL!

    TweenAndTwinMom

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 1:02 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • Working thru the child custody and visitation issues! That was the worst for me! We had to have 2 custody evaluations done and both of them said the same thing! Even tho he had agreed to go with the evaluators decision, he still wanted to fight it! Oh, and having to pay for a parenting time evaluator!
    Mickeypat

    Answer by Mickeypat at 2:04 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • For me, the hardest part is there being another woman involved with my son. My ex is not careful about introducing women to him, and it scares me.
    kimbob2284

    Answer by kimbob2284 at 6:03 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

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