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Could switching from Working mom to SAHM affect your self-esteem?


Asked by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Jul. 26, 2010 in Parenting Debate

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Answers (18)
  • I think the answer is SOOO personal, that no one should tell you it will or won't. Everyone is different, with different kids and different SO's (Some help, some do nothing). I think that I would say, Yes it can go down, but not necessarily. I have been a SAHM now for over 2 years and for the most part I love it. But it is very hard. I live in a tiny backwards town, have very few friends, the weather is unbearable and we are stuck inside a lot. I also have a Masters degree and had a very good job before I had kids. I have found ways to keep my sanity, and feel very good about what I am doing for my children, but one of the things that keeps me going is knowing that my kids will get older and I will go back to work one day.

    Answer by christinab313 at 6:53 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • It can because its a major life change. if you are used to making money and financially and then suddenly you aren't, that can affect your self esteem.

    Answer by kuriequinn at 1:00 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • I guess it could. Personally, I have great self-esteem being a SAHM. I feel proud of my decision and feel like I'm making a great contribution, even if only to the life of my son. :)

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 1:00 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • It can because you are not in control of your own finances anymore.

    Answer by Honestbest at 1:02 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • to me it did. I'm usually a busy body, I've had a job since I was 16 and have always worked I've only taken time off when I went on leave after I had my kids, when my daughter went to surgery and when I was placed on bed rest due to complications. and it was horrible, yes I loved waking up to my kids and not have to worry about getting ready for work in a few hours but then not getting a paycheck and not feeling like I was contributing to my home really took a toll on me. I found myself fighting with my husband and then feeling like crap about myself and everything then I would felt like I brought more to the table working and being a mommy. I've only stayed at home a max of 3 months and have gon back to work, I repect SAHMs for what they do, but it' just not for me.

    Answer by babyangelromero at 1:04 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • If you are a person that used to and needs adult contact? Do you need and want to use your experience and degree? It is a HUGE change to be a stay at home mom. At first it feels great. You feel free. You are with your children and family 24/7. Then after a while it gets boring. You don't have the same responsibilities. You aren't using your experience and degree of education most of the time. Your income goes down significantly. Then you start to sit and wonder if there is something you do from home to create income. It is hard to get back into the work force once you leave to "be with your children". Jobs are hard to find and employers worry you will leave again so you aren't taken seriously.

    Just saying, take your time to make you decision. It is rewarding to be with your kids, but it isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Be careful and make the right decision. Talk to your SO/DH if you have one. Do it together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • Yep, big time! I liked it at first. But then when we would get together with our friends, I no longer had anything in common with them. I was left out of gathers and groups. They didn't call me any more. I had to start over. Now I am embarrassed to fill out forms when they ask who your employer is. I love my kids but they are only home for 5 years. I thought I'd get back to work once they were in school and now no one will hire me because I haven't been working for the past 4 years. I think its important to be with your kids, but if I were to do it all over again, I wouldn't leave my job. Maybe try and cut back hours or something, but now I'm stuck. The job market is basically nonexistent here.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • It was an option I needed to explore. The whole stay at home wasn't a good fit for me. I needed something to do. Like the post before, I felt cut off from the world too. I didn't have adult interaction other than being on the phone, then I wasn't watching my kids. I gained weight, didn't know what day it was half of the time and watched a lot of tv. Yes, I cooked, cleaned, played with my kids, but I didn't feel productive. So I started a business in my home. Took forever to get it going, but I never quite got the respect from our friends that I had before. They looked at me differently and assumed I was lazy, uneducated and I felt terrible. Now they still assume I'm not working and can drop everything and volunteer here and there or drive here and there because I only work from home. My self esteem stinks and I wish I could contribute more to the family finances. We could go on vacations if I were still working.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • I don't see how. The only difference is that you don't bring money to the home, but you're still working. :-)

    Answer by Kiwismommy19 at 12:59 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • It did for me. When I was finishing my BA in social studies, I stayed home. It was an adjustment that I never adjusted very well, if at all. I hated being a sahm. I have worked since I was 16. While it was financially feasible for me to stay home and still is...I felt I was not contributing financially. Soon as I got a job teaching...I was gone. I teach now and attend grad school. I felt staying home I lost a part of me, I lost myself, I need adult interaction, and finally...I was bored. It is not challenging enough for me. I love my career and never felt like I had to choose when having my son. Thankfully my husband and I are on the same page. We both like my income. It goes straight into savings but we are wanting to buy a larger house in the near future.

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 1:50 PM on Jul. 26, 2010