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i cheated, now what?

so i cheated on my current bf of almost a year about a week ago with an ex of mine.

the reason was stupid, i was feeling neglected because he is always at work and wasnt giving me any attention, i needed someone to talk to and i knew it was a bad idea. i felt SO GUILTY so i decided to tell him, now he says he still loves me but he called me a slut and a whore etc. which i expected AND deserved but he isnt sure if he wants to stay with meCONTINUED......

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:59 PM on Oct. 2, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (25)
  • CONTINUED!!!!!!!
    and says he will give me an answer by monday but he keeps telling him i need to find a way to convince him that he can trust me again and that this wont happen, including writing him a letter telling him the reasons i think he should stay and things like that. he also told me that if he does decide to leave he still wants to see my son (from a previous relationship, he is 17 months and loves my bf) which i told him was ok but im really scared hes going to leave me, i love him so much and i was just confused, what would you do to show ur man that that wouldnt happen again? appreciate the help, thanx.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:59 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • You made your bed. Now you get to sleep in it. Sorry, but that's life. Now, how to get him stay? Well, if it were me I would #1 write the letter that he asked for listing reasons why he should stay with you. Do NOT use your son as a reason. This is about the 2 of you. In your letter to him, remind him of things about your love. I would tell him how much I loved him, and tell him how the cheating just made me realize what I had, and how it made me think of all the reasons I fell in love with him to begin with. I would be especially attentive to him, try to spend time with him, and show him your love for him. If you REALLY don't think you will cheat again, then that's all you can do. Don't beg and plead with him, he shouldn't have to listen to that. It's your mistake, graveling will just make it worse.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 7:06 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • And just remember...if this was any woman saying that her man had just cheated and should she take him back, we would say no. So don't expect any differently. You are lucky he is even considering staying.
    CarolynBarnett

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 7:06 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • and dont play the blame game with him saying the reason you cheated was because HE wasnt giving you the attention like you said in your post.
    Jasmine0530

    Answer by Jasmine0530 at 7:11 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • you already screwed up nothing you can do and blaming him for you cheatinis so stupid im sorry
    iloveyall2008

    Answer by iloveyall2008 at 7:17 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • OK i NEVER BLAMED HIM!!!! i just said that was how i felt,
    i realize this is all on me and TOTALLY my fault, i just need advice not nasty comments
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:20 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • Well if it were me I would have to weigh if Im truly, deeply committed to this man. I mean if everytime I felt neglected because he was gone working or whatever made me run...Id really have to rethink if Im ready to be with him.

    My DH works all the time, I feel neglected most everyday but that doesnt make me want to run to an ex and "talk" especially knowing it would lead elsewhere.

    If you truly want to be with this man then perhaps you should write the letter he asked you too. No one can answer the ? but you. What can YOU do to prove you wont. Honestly, nothing. Only time will truly tell.
    BonesDragonDew

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 7:25 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • but saying the reason you cheated was because he made you feel this is yes im sorry you blameing him
    iloveyall2008

    Answer by iloveyall2008 at 7:25 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • hey girl i know you know you did wrong but....what you can do is write the letter tell him all the reasons you love him, tell him why you regret doing it, why you will never do it again and tell him that he can make the rules as to what he needs from you to trust ( in a reasonable matter) just be home with him as much as you can and be patient with him when he is upset at you about it because getting upset doesnt show you are really sorry. just be good to him and pamper him give him your all and basically kiss his ass.
    babykins362003

    Answer by babykins362003 at 7:26 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

  • no mine wasnt to be as a nasty comment, sorry if it sounded like that i was just saying that dont say that was the reason, like you said in your post, i tried that wth one of my exs and it was not a good path to choose.
    Jasmine0530

    Answer by Jasmine0530 at 7:27 PM on Oct. 2, 2008

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