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How to deal with issues with adult kids and a step parent

my 24 year old unemployed son lives in my home with me and my partner. There are lots of angry issues between my son and my partner involving lots of testosterone putting me in the middle. How do I set bounderies?

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Andrea624

Asked by Andrea624 at 3:14 PM on Jul. 26, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • your son needs to understand that he is a guest in your home. You need to sit him down & explain to him that he IS your son, but he is an adult now & your house is not his house anymore. Your house is your house & your partners house, not his. Tell him if he can't respect boundaries in the home, then he needs to leave. This is when you also write up a contract. You put the rules on it & expect everyone to abide by them. Have them both sign it. This will help him understand where his boundaries are. But, first off...he needs to know that he is an adult & he is in your home. He needs to have respect for everyone else living there, or he needs to leave.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:29 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • You need to set up a timeline with your son on when he will move out. This would move him into growing up and it would show your partner that the present situation is not forever.
    CometGirl

    Answer by CometGirl at 8:36 AM on Aug. 10, 2010

  • well i can imagine how hard it might be when your in the middle one is your son adn one is your parter. it would be a diference if he was jounger i would tell you you have to put your son first but your son is 24. soon he will find somebody and move out and leave you alone. i think if you love your partner, let your son know that he is old enouph to get a job and to move out or atleast if he stays to help out around the house. i can imagine why your parter might be having problems with him if he needs to provide everythign for your 24 yr old. give your son a deadline and tlel him he needs to find a job and help out in the house maybe pay some for rent and food and to make sure he doesnt get involve with your relationship. he is old enouph andif he doesnt like your rules then tell him to move out
    Alejandra10

    Answer by Alejandra10 at 10:18 PM on Aug. 25, 2010

  • Perhaps family counseling out help. Part of the problem is your son not having a job and isn't kept busy enough.

    musicmom08

    Answer by musicmom08 at 8:47 AM on Sep. 4, 2010

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