Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Problems with you SO's parents..

Okay so my boyfriends parents have been causing problems between me and him because the fact that i dont have a job. His mother asks him every day if i have one or not and if i dont why havent i been looking. I have been looking for a job but where i live theres not much out there that and the fact that im about to have a baby could possibly do something with it!! I just dont understand why they can't get it in their head that its alot harder for me to find on when im 8mos pregnant. Is it me or are there other people out there like this? Im going insane to the point where i just want to beat the living poo outta someone lol. But i dont know what to do about this situation. I have talked to everyone about it and they still throw a fit...what should i do?!?!?

Answer Question

Asked by Mandalxl at 5:10 PM on Jul. 26, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 4 (57 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Your SO needs to step in and tell them to mind their own business cause it isn't any of theirs.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 5:12 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • You don't have any control over what they are going to say about you. I would ignor it. Does your boyfriend understand that you are having a head time finding a job and why?

    Answer by Mommy2Gabrielle at 5:12 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • I have tried to tell them to stay out of it, but it doesnt work. And he agrees with his mommy because hes such a mommys boy and it drives me insane! He ask me the other day right after the baby how soon im going out to look for a job. But what he doesnt understand is that itll take a little bit to heal and the fact that he decided to go back to school 3 nights a week til about 11 or 12 and he works from 7am to 6pm and on some nights he works with his old boss. Now ive told him i dont want someone else raising my kid so what am i supposed to do go out and get a 40 hr job or more then whos going to be with the baby?!?!

    Comment by Mandalxl (original poster) at 5:15 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • This sounds like something that you should have talked about before you got pregnant...However, I work 48 hours a week. My DD goes to a daycare. She is not suffering from lack of mommy time. We have a very good relationship.

    If you wanted to be a SAHM, you needed to look for someone who was willing to support that lifestyle. It sounds like your SO doesn't support that so you are going to need to meet in the middle.

    Sounds like you and SO need to have a talk. A relationship is about compromise. You need to give some and he needs to give some.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 5:20 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • Well, I'm sure your SO's parents aren't thrilled that their unmarried son is supporting a woman who isn't contributing to the household finances. They likely feel that the situation is less than ideal.
    You also might want to consider the fact that he could agree with his mother not because he is a "mommy's boy" but because that is how he feels. Now would be a good time to discuss this with him.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 5:21 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • Um... first of all, why do they want YOU to get a job when you are 8 months pregnant? Does your SO have a job? Even if he does... if you guys need the money that bad maybe he should get a second job. I mean... even if you found a job now, what are you gonna do when the baby is born? You would basically have to go on leave right after starting the new job. How does that make any sense? LoL

    Answer by JenMarie2007 at 5:21 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • WOW, wtf?! I cannot believe this. Asking a woman that far along to get a job is simply ludacris. And your SO agrees and is pressuring you about finding a job soon after the baby's birth? That's not okay. If he's going to be working and going back to school then who will be watching your newborn if you get a job? Do you plan to breastfeed? Does he know how much work it will be for you to pump at work if you do? I can't understand why they are being so cruel. Are you guys having financial trouble? If that's the case then why does he need to pick right now to go back to school? You are right to be upset, I would be livid. I would tell them that you plan to spend as long as you need bonding with your newborn and focusing on breastfeeding (if that's how you plan to feed the baby). Tell them you will look for a job when YOU decide too, no sooner. Then I would say no more on the matter. Your SO needs to back you up IMO.

    Answer by mommymela87 at 5:25 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • Your SO needs to tell his parents to back off.
    That things will happen the way they're supposed to.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 5:27 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • Ok I reread a little and see that you want to raise your baby. Obviously you will be the only one available to care for the child (and the BEST option to care for your child), so I think you should put your foot down and tell them you want to be a stay at home mom for the baby. If you want you could look into doing some type of work from home. For a while I worked in a daycare that allowed me to bring my son, that was a pretty cool job. I hope once the baby gets here they will understand that they are stinkin crazy.

    Answer by mommymela87 at 5:28 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • JenMarie2007- Thats exactly what im saying. Yes he has a job and he even has a second job.

    I do feel horrible that i dont have a job i truely do. I mean im not the type of person who just likes to sit around on my ass and do nothing all day long. I wish i had a job i truely and honestly do. An i have tried to explain to him that its pointless right now to find a job when im so close.

    Aliceinalgonac-That i understand completely i truely do. But the thing is before i got pregnant i was going to school full time and working full time while he didnt have a job for a few months which didnt bother me because with work and school i was getting checks both ways and the money went right to bills and what not. And that still wasnt good enough i wasnt making enough money in their eyes to support him thats what they told me before.

    Comment by Mandalxl (original poster) at 5:28 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.