Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should mothers always have the right to their children over fathers and step mothers, even when they obviously suck at being mothers?

This thought came from reading a previous question. I know some people who have children and are messing them up quite nicely. I also know some mothers who either gave their children up because they didn't want them or lost them because they wouldn't take care of them, then they play the victim. Do you think that even when the Dad has custody with a step mother helping, that the bio mom should trump them when she makes her wishes known? Does the same go when mom has custody with step father in the kids life and the bio father makes his wishes known? Are bio mothers always the better parent??

Answer Question

Asked by layh41407 at 8:10 PM on Jul. 26, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Level 36 (79,415 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • I think it should be in the best interest of the child, and NO that is not always the mother!!

    Answer by SWEETPEAS3MOM at 8:11 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • The kids should always live (primarily) with the parent that is better for them and the other parent should get visitation (if they want it and are not harming their children)

    Answer by colethky at 8:13 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • agree with sweetpea, but i also think that when a parent decides to be a good parent they should be allowed to. if the child is old enough to make a decision about that parent then obviously that parent really screwed up and for too long.

    Answer by angevil53 at 8:13 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • In a perfect world. Bio mom and dad should work together on raising their kids. Even if they are not together. Step parents should not have any say so. JMO

    Answer by louise2 at 8:14 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • I agree with louise2.

    Answer by Fallaya at 8:18 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • i think the courts are a lot less bias towards the biological moms than they used to be. the friend of the court is supposed to be looking out for the best interest of the child.
    20 years ago my dad got custody over my mom. she thought that just because she was married again, that she would be the better parent.
    i have no idea what happened in court, but i do know that my dad got custody and my mom did not. neither parents were particularly good or bad.

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 8:19 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • no way. i am a sep mom to three kids. their mom hasn't seen them for over three years. when she had them, she once drove druck with them no car seats or anything. the younget was just one year old. she once tried (over the phone since she lives in a diffent state) that we needed to take sd5 to the hospital because she was having stomic pains. i took her to the dotcor the next day, she had strep. my hsband told the bio mom she would let he raise his kids as he wanted or she could stay even more out of thier lives.

    Answer by happy-go-lucky at 8:19 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • Well, do you mean "rights" to their kids? or are you talking like custody? I think custody of the child should go to whomever is best suited to raise the child, financially, emotionally, physically etc. If that's not the mother then the child should go elsewhere. Now, as for mothers having rights to their children, yes, I think all mothers (and fathers for that matter) deserve rights to their children, even if it's supervised visitation or the right to send them a birthday card and money if they are not allowed to physically be around them. I believe the biological parent, unless they have thrown away their rights, or have had them taken away, should have a say in what happens in their childrens lives, even if they don't have custody. Does that make sense?

    Answer by sofiesmama807 at 8:20 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • Well when the bio mother abandons her children, walks away and leaves state, then doesn't see them for about 2-3 years then the stepmom should have a say since she is raising the child and is the only mother figure in that child's life.

    Answer by carmadsmom at 8:27 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

  • No, it shouldnt always be the mother.If there is a battle, it has to go through the courts. However, I do not think a step parent has anything to do with the situation. It is and should be based upon the bio mother and the bio father. Of course, I'm sure that with some push and shove, the courts will look into the entire household, who lives there,home stability and such...but a step parent has no legal rights over a step child unless a guardianship is set in place with the step parent.
    And just because a step parent may be awesome..doesnt always mean that the bio parent with that step parent is.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 8:32 PM on Jul. 26, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.