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My son is about to start kindergarden and is terrified!

He is very shy and never been in daycare or around kids a lot at all. He flat out told me today that he is shy and scared to go. The only adults he really sees are family too. So what can I do? Going to school is going to be a REAL awakening for him. I'm also worried because my 2 year old girl will be home with just me and without her big bro that she adores and goes EVERYWHERE with him. She is like an extension of his hand. She sometimes gets upset when she is with family that isn't me so this will probably be hard on all of us. What to do?

Answer Question
 
SweetLoveofMine

Asked by SweetLoveofMine at 1:56 AM on Jul. 27, 2010 in

Level 29 (40,610 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • It's kind of late in the summer, but if you aren't totally against it due to beliefs or lack thereof, see if there are any vacation bible school things at local churches where you leave him for a couple of hours without you being there. Explain to him he will have lots of fun and you'll be back for him soon. Stick around the first day or two in case he has some tears and needs you, but I bet by day 2 or 3 he'll look forward to the activities and wave goodbye and you can be on your way.

    Go to the school ASAP. Stop at the office, explain you have an incoming kindergartener and ask if you can just wander the school so he can get a feel for it. Show him the important places (library, cafeteria if he'll be eating there) and of course the kindergarten wing. Point out all the "fun" and "cool" stuff and how much fun it will be to use it and stuff. Repeat your visit to the school a week or so before school starts.
    LostTheSlipper

    Answer by LostTheSlipper at 2:04 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • you have choices. . . Kindergarten is inevitable whether you Homeschool or public school or private school. Socialization is key to a child development. Even if you Homeschool/public school/private school you can have the socialization needed. Today is a new world for schooling. You need to do what is right for you and your family. Many people kids even suffer from social anxiety and it can get worse if they are forced to be in those situations. Talk to you child's Dr. and discuss your options. . . you may decided homeschooling is best and maybe for just one year. . .
    Kirs

    Answer by Kirs at 2:06 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Make school something he can look forward to. Buy new underwear (with cool characters he picks out)...and new shoes if you wish, and a new shirt for day one that he gets to help pick out if he doesn't have to wear uniforms. A week before school starts start emphasizing how he has only 7..then 6..then 5, etc days to go before he gets to go to K and gets to wear this stuff...and use his new backpack and lunchbox if he has those.

    As for your 2yo....not sure about that one. Just explain that big brother has to go big boy school and will be home to play with her later. Maybe find some activities you guys can do that first week so she's distracted from the fact he's gone.
    LostTheSlipper

    Answer by LostTheSlipper at 2:07 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • my dd is about to start kindergarten and is so excited, she loves having someone to play with. i would try to take him to the park, or maybe a play group to try and get him out more before school starts. i agree with losttheslipper, take him to the school, show him the playground and stuff. there are books you can find and read to him about starting school too. also, maybe get him a kindergarten work book and work with him on it, that way he kind of knows what to expect. my dd loves her work book and the learning makes her want to go to school even more! good luck!
    nickellmomof2

    Answer by nickellmomof2 at 2:08 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Make sure to spend plenty of time at the open house day. Talk it up like it is the best thing since sliced bread. Talk to the teacher about your concerns so she can be prepared. Maybe sit together and make a list of fun things to accomplish in the first week of school. and post it to be checked off. (We did that with my son this year) 1. Learn 5 kids names 2. Play on the playground with a friend 3. learn you teachers name 4. Go to PE and play a game 5. write your name 6. play on the computer 7. play tic-tac-toe with a friend 8. wear you favorite shirt to school 9. drink chocolate milk 10. tell a friend about your pet.
    My son is going into 1st. He has Aspergers so a lot of his 'goals' have to do with making friends and learning names. YOur child's could be more game related. Check with the teacher to make sure the list is doable.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 7:26 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • make school fun. start now! take him to library reading programs where he needs to sit and listen, without you holding his hand. sure you can sit close, but then start to give him his own space over time. Take him to a YMCA day care (those that watch your kiddos while you work out)... around here there is a max of 2 hours... but you can leave him there for 15 minutes, then pick him up... extending your time away each day, and while he's playing you are just a few feet away in the building...

    my oldest has NO issue, but my youngest is very much like your son... and i've had to start using some of these with her to get her more comfortable with people other than me, and family. it's working but takes time. Now she's getting better, and she KNOWS that when I leave that I will come back!
    asil

    Answer by asil at 7:20 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • With my son I got to ride the bus and go with him to school on his first day. Check with your school and see if they do anything like that. If not ask if you can visit the school and the teacher, see the class room. My son was nervous too, I even think he was trying not to cry on the way there. But he loved it, and you son probably will to, just keep talk ing to him, and encourage it. Good Luck!
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 12:06 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • My son also didn't go to daycare (that he remembers) and stayed home (mostly) until starting pre-K. He was scared at first, but felt much better after back to school night (before school starts), seeing his class room, and meeting his teachers. His anxiety disappeared after his first day. Good luck, mama.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 11:57 PM on Aug. 2, 2010

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