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I'm loosing respect for my husband...

I'm married almost 3 yrs to a guy who smokes pot, lazy,self-absorbed, who thinks he's always right & thinks wives should always serve their husbands (even though we are both working and I already feel like a slave in this house)...etc. etc. I do have my own flaws and I do admit to it... but this guy just don't think that there's something wrong with him. Even his own family is saying this.

We have a 2 yr. old boy who's keeping me sane in this marriage. I'm not happy anymore and I'm loosing respect for him. Recently, I'm starting to loose respect for myself because of how he treats me. Talking to him won't make anything better...I tried.

Do I stick to this marriage because I have a son whim I don't want to grow up in a broken family? Or do I save the remaining respect I have for myself and separate from him?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:30 AM on Jun. 29, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Was he like this when you married him or did he change? I could not and would not put up with it.
    AKEllen

    Answer by AKEllen at 4:36 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • No he was not...or maybe he was. I was just too blind to see. STUPID ME!!! :(. Thanks for replying. :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • I am so sorry that you are going through this. I know from experience love can be blind and make us lose our common sense.
    AKEllen

    Answer by AKEllen at 4:55 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • You have to be happy to raise a happy child. If you haven't approached your dh as of yet with ideas to resolve the issues, start there. If he is unwilling to better himself, he will only drag you and your child down with him. BTDT. I stayed in a marriage for the sake of a child and in the end it did more harm than good. Only you can make that choice though.
    GL to you!
    New2WAHJ

    Answer by New2WAHJ at 7:05 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • I'm in a similar situation. He did all the same things your husband is doing except he didn't work. After 3 yrs of ultimatums, he now works, stopped drinkin & smoking pot and has been clean for almost a year. Now we have a beautiful 6 wk old daughter & I have no respect for him. I think it's because everything he did was a little too late. I'm so consumed with Carmela, I sometimes forget he's even here. It's actually a sad situation, I love him, but I could live without him. Very complicated. Get in touch with me if you want to vent more.
    krisstencarmela

    Answer by krisstencarmela at 8:46 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • Sounds like you know what you need to do. Sometimes, there is hope if you confront in love and dish out the consequences. If he won't respond and you have done all you can, you will know what to do. Living with a Daddy like that is hard on the child too.
    manna1qd

    Answer by manna1qd at 9:10 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • try a trial seperation. that will give you a chance to see what makes you happiest.
    kaysha

    Answer by kaysha at 9:52 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • Share expenses,Socialize with others,Be treated with respect,Share in decision-making,Talk things out,Say "NO" to anything,Have your own opinion ,Trust,Not be vicitmized by violence,Be free from expected paybacks,Be safe and feel safe,Be yourself/do what is best for you,Be treated with courtesy, Express your feelings and emotions,Communicate openly,Be treated as an equal!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • IF YOU DO NOT RECEIVE ALL OF THESE THINGS FROM YOUR HUSBAND THEN YOU ARE NOT REQUIRING ENOUGH.
    AND ABOVE THAT YOUR HUSBAND IS PUTTING YOUR CHILD AT RISK. HE IS SMOKING AN ILLEGAL DRUG IN YOUR HOME. WHICH I CAN ONLY ASSUME MEANS THAT YOUR CHILD IS PRESENT IN THE BUILDING. THAT MAKES IT CHILD ENDANGERMENT. IF THE DEPARTMENT OF CHILD SERVICES KNEW ABOUT IT GUESS WHAT THEY WOULD DO!! I DON'T TELL YOU THIS TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD. I TELL YOU THIS CAUSE YOU NEED TO REQUIRE MORE OF HIM AND IF HE DOES NOT COMPLY THEN YOU NEED TO GET BETTER FOR YOU AND YOUR SON ON YOUR OWN. IF YOU SIT THERE AND ALLOW HIM TO DO THIS TO YOU THEN YOU ARE PERMITTING HIM TO ABUSE YOU AND YOUR CHILD. THAT MAKES YOU AN CO-ABUSER OF YOUR CHILD. I AM SO SORRY BUT THIS IS THE TRUTH!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • I think you answered your own question. You're not happy. He doesn't respect you, or himself. And beware, if you stay, your child will grow up NOT to respect you, either.

    You need to make life changes for the health and safety of your son and yourself. Make a plan to get out and stay out.
    ToldUNo

    Answer by ToldUNo at 10:40 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

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