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What would you decide?

My XH & I have split custody of our 2 kids; I have them Tues-Sat morn. He's been pushing to get them Sun eve-Fri eve so they can go to school near him (he's about 45 min away and admittedly in a better school district) much so that he's filed for legal custody change. I've been SO against it because I can't imagine only having my babies on the weekends. Unfortunately, I've been a mess getting my daughter into a school bcuz of a move so I just found out school starts in a week (I have nothing for school!!), and preK for my son is WAY too expensive here...I'm beginning to think I should agree w my X. He's offering to pay for everything; clothes, supplies, gymnastics, soccer...I just fear he'll use it against me in the future to say he's paid for everything. I'm very torn w what to do...any suggestions from you mamas?

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Asked by nappeal at 7:51 AM on Jul. 27, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,369 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • If it were me, I don't think that I could do it. I couldn't see my kids only 2 days a week. You don't have to go out and buy your children a whole new wardrobe for school right now. That can come later. All they need is basic essentials to go to school with and the rest you can figure out. If your ex REALLY wants to help out, then he should offer money for his kids whether they are at his house or yours. I would tell him thank you, you appreciate what he is trying to do, but you'd rather them be with you. Maybe you can even work with him on certain holidays, off days from school, and summer time.

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 7:58 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I would fight for my kids.

    Answer by Cochise at 7:59 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • We already have a whole parenting plan, so things like holidays and whatnot are already covered, and he doesn't currently have to pay me a dime (he uses that against me a lot). Believe me...I've already explained to him a million time that I'm not willing to change things up, but seriously he will not let up. He sent like 7 texts @ 1030p last night explaining why its 'best for the kids'. My BF wasn't too happy that I was getting txts so late from him lol. He's filed to make legal moves over it, and we did have mediation scheduled for the same day DD's school starts-I had to cancel when I found out I'd have to pay $200 for 3 hrs. I've been so NONONO about it, but I'm starting to sway. I feel like I"m going against myself while @ the same time I feel like I'm saying no to be stubborn.

    Comment by nappeal (original poster) at 8:07 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Why is he not required to pay you anything? I don't understand that. If this is the case then I say NO absolutely not. I think it is rather selfish of him that the ONLY way he will put up some money for his children is if you agree to GIVE them to him full time, and YES he can/probably will use that against you later on if it was ever needed for any reason. I really would not consider handing over custody of your children just because you only have a week to prepare them for school and are freaking out about it. I think that you will regret it A LOT once it is done.

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 8:11 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I was being naive and 'fair' when we split, so I decided no CS. I filed about a year back for it, but I coudn't make it to one of the court dates, so they terminated my application, and he made my life hell once he found out about me filing. The kids going to 'a better' school is the basis for this fight. In ALL honesty, because the finacial brunt is put on me, him now paying for daycare and all that is actually what's making me want to agree. There's a lot I can do to fight, but I'm preg and don't have a dime to my name while he has lots of $ and lots of lawyers. I just don't have the resources or energy, emotionally & physically, to do anything legally.

    Comment by nappeal (original poster) at 8:17 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I wouldn't do it. Good schools are great and everything, but if a parent gives a damn and is involved, then not so good schools are fine, too, IMO. Look into head start for your son.

    Answer by Christina807 at 10:38 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I agree that you should fight. I know how you want the best education for your kids, but you know you will not be happy with just two days a week. If you have problems, call the schools and let them know what is going on. Tell them you have not had the time or the finances to get the supplies and the school's resource center should be able to help. As far a preschool, if you don't make enough money, you should be able to get a scholarship or even get him in there for free. I would talk to the school board and see if there is anything can be done. Good luck.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 12:04 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

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