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Was adoption an easy process you for?

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RMoore22

Asked by RMoore22 at 9:25 AM on Jul. 27, 2010 in Adoption

Level 4 (35 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Ours were step parent adoptions so, they were easy. My son's BF took off and couldn't found so, they put an ad in the paper. My husband's son (not biological) his BM died of an OD and the BF was more than happy to terminate his rights. We are in touch with my son's BF and my adopted son's BMs family has limited contact.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:31 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Yes and no. It was clearly spelled out the risks. That doesn't mean you are prepared for when and if those things do not work out. We did a private infant domestic adoption. It took about seven months from start to finish to have our son placed in our home. He was four hours old when we first met him and his birth family. Before him....there were several that did not work out. I will be honest. We did "loose" some money that went towards expenses of another expecting woman. It was not without frustration or heart break. But we were willing to put ourselves out there. All I can say is each family has to investigate all options they have available and select the path that best suits their needs.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:37 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I wouldn't say it was easy. When we first started seriously looking at adoption, the agency we liked best said we were above the age limit (DH actually). I looked at agencies for one more year, but didn't like any as well. I called back and was going to ask them to make an exception, and they said they had changed the age limit. We had to wait another year on their waiting list before we could do the pre-adoptive training. In all, it was 4 1/2 years from the first contact with them until DD was born.

    After we finalized, I asked to be put back in the pool of prospective parents, and they said we were too old again. Within a few months we moved out of state. The same agency in the new diocese said DH was past the age limit but I wasn't, so they would work with us. We never received the first invitation to the training, so we had to wait another six months. From DD's birth to DS's birth, it was another four years.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 2:17 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I do understand why they need to ask the very personal and uncomfortable questions, but it is not fun being under the microscope. I didn't mind the background checks because that was just signing permission to run them. I found it humiliating to have to ask three friends, a family member, a pastor, two doctors, and our employers for references. They asked very invasive questions on the letters they sent to our friends. The homestudy was uncomfortable, too. We had a hard time understanding why they needed to know how often we have sex. Both times, we thought "no way are we going through that again!" Now I find myself wanting another child, and whichever route we go (fost-adopt or private/agency) it would mean going under the microscope again.

    The bottom line is that it is all worth it in the end when you look at your children, they hug you and tell you they love you.
    Iamgr8teful

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 2:22 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I wouldn't classify it as "easy," but I also wouldn't say it was "hard." I was more frustrated with how not everyone involved in getting our homestudy done was as organized as I was. The entire thing was done and turned in for over two weeks before we were finally approved to be eligible for adoption. Yeah, that was very frustrating to me.

    Other than that, it ran pretty smooth. The first PBMom we met face to face chose us 4 months later, so we didn't have a lot of ups and downs in that aspect other than just having our profiles sent out. Granted, we had problems after birth, but figuring that's not exactly what you meant.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 7:05 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • With my oldest, it was an emotional rollercoaster. We did foster and then adopted, so it was a constant battle of not knowing what was going on. DHS wasn't telling us much and the bio family was saying how great they were doing, but from what we saw, we were afraid of FS going back. in the end I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. For our youngest, he was straight adoptions from the county, so it was just waiting and then being matched. Pretty smooth process. Helps that we had a great adoptions SW too =)
    yo_ho

    Answer by yo_ho at 5:06 AM on Jul. 29, 2010

  • It wasn't easy but there are harder things I've experienced. We were "paper pregnant" for 10 mos and it took us 6 mos to get all the paperwork and homestudy stuff finished. Then, when we were chosen by a birthmom no one could find the birthfather so we had to go through a huge ordeal trying to contact him. Then, when we finally contacted him he was angry that his dd was getting placed in adoption and that he'd show up at the court date. Well, he never showed up but it was stressful waiting. The adoption was finalized a year and a half after she was placed with us and the following day her birthfather was on the front page of the newspaper as one of our county's top ten most wanted sexual offenders. *sigh* so glad she's with us. Her birthfather is a little difficult but her birthmother is awesome! We still keep in contact with her.
    ziff130

    Answer by ziff130 at 9:47 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

  • Good God NO. the first parents I chose in fact BACKED OUT on teh adoption. There was a chance my son might be less than a perfect little white baby. so one day POOF they were out. I ended up going with an agency and was given a HUGE assortment of family profiles that fit close to what I was looking for. I settled on the couple and we all got along great. it was as perfect in terms of adoption as I could have hoped for. however it was living hell. and it took me YEARS to stop crying DAILY OVER IT.
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 9:44 PM on Sep. 6, 2010

  • im look to start so i dont think it will be
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 12:52 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

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