Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

How long after you get a divorce should you wait?

How long after you get a divorce should you wait before you start dating? I have two young children and will be getting a divorce soon. Our marriage has been over for some time, so moving on isn't going to be a problem. I just don't want to date while still living under the same roof as DH.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:59 AM on Jul. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I met my SO a month before I moved out of my ex's house. Though I didn't have him around my kids till months later.

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 10:03 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Depends on the person.

    When I left my first partner, after years and two beautiful girls, I could not date for over a year. I was not ready, if you are ready then date, but don't bring the men into your childs life.

    Date for a while, don't rush anything be sure the next one will be the one... Good luck~ Sorry about the divorce...

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:06 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • go out and look at it as having fun and a good time. don't settle and don't introduce the kids till you decide to remarry

    Answer by miritrose at 10:11 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • It depends on your comfort level.

    I have known my SO for 14 years, and began seeing him about 11 months before my divorce was finalized (marriage has been over for about 2 years prior)- Having him around my children was not an issue.
    We've been together for almost 2 years, and are now both divorced (his was not finalized when when began seeing one another either). It was not the best move legally, but everything has worked out well for us.

    If you're dating random people, I would suggest waiting until you believe there is some sort of long term arrangment before introducing the children. This also covers your ass with the ex.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 10:14 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • lol...not that i reccomend it, but i started dating my current SO about 2 months after i seperated from my exhusband and moved in with him a week or two after my divorce was final. my son was 6 at the time and living with my parents (to finish the school year at the same school), so we had been dating about 4 months before my son met him...2 months later we were all living under the same roof...4 years later we still are and have added one more little one to the family. i realize this is too fast for most people, but it has worked beautifully for us. as the op said, our marriage had been over for years so it wasnt as if i had to get over my last relationship first. my ex was never a good father to my son, so my son took to my SO quickly because he is an amazing stepfather who treats my son as his own. it really is different for everyone and depends on what you and your children are ready for.

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 10:17 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I think you should date as soon as you are ready.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:36 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • One more thing. We have NO intention of getting married, but that does not make our relationship any less serious. Marriage is not the end all, be all of relationship status. I feel a heck of a lot more secure in the fact that we stay together because we choose to, than because we are contracted to.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 10:37 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I met my husband 4 months after his wife left him (for another man) which was 2 months after he had filed for divorce. Normally, I would not recommend this to any of my friends. However, there was something so special and wonderful about him, I broke the "taboo" of dating a man who is still separated making me a potential "rebound girl." (My friends and family all warned me). We did go through some rough patches that first year but he proposed 2 years after we began dating and are now married.

    Back to your question, you begin dating whenever you are ready. I agree that maybe it isn't the best while you are living under the same roof. It could hurt your soon to be ex's feelings or make things more uncomfortable than they already are. Avoid conflict and emotional strife.

    Answer by kathyartist2007 at 11:12 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • As soon as he is out from under your roof.

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 1:27 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • It varies for everyone, go with your heart:)

    Answer by kimbob2284 at 2:28 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.