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How do you handle a whiny, very demanding 6 -1/2 yr old girl?

She is constantly demanding to go somewhere or have someone come over! Frankly I'm tired of it! I am at the point of lost patience! Ever since summer started, she has been relentless. Now, hubby and I are arguing about money, and a lot of the money I've spent lately, has been taking the kids somewhere -jumphouse places ($20) happy meals after the park ($11) or toys ($10). Movies ($12) At least 2 times a week I give in, so this is adding up to a lot of expense! But I NEED peace and quiet! We don't have a lot of friends, and my family doesn't help.

We put in a pool - but it's not enough. I take her to friend's houses, but sometimes they are busy and we can't go over everyday! Nothing is ever enough.

What do I do to keep my sanity without having to constantly entertain her? (I have other kids that need me too). I am at my wits end with her and scowl at her a lot. I feel so bad for hating this summer break, but I am tired!

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Asked by Annette4 at 11:35 AM on Jul. 27, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 6 (148 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • good luck

    Answer by shannonsmom555 at 11:37 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Sit her down and have an honest discussion with her. We do things once a week.

    Tell her to go amuse herself.

    Answer by lovinangels at 11:37 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Buy her a few things that she can do around the house, like Coloring or something crafty that would keep her busy for a while.

    Answer by DesertRose75 at 11:40 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Put her to work cleaning the house, laundry, whatever. Soon she will learn to occupy herself so she can steer clear of having to do chores. Make time for writing in a journal every day, time for reading a book. Give her specific times for certain things, then you are only left with a few hours in the day to here the whining. Also, and this might sound mean to some but it works for me, my kids are not allowed to whine. If they want to whine, they will be the only ones hearing it because the will go to their room.

    Answer by momof3josephs at 11:41 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • My daughter is seven, and when she starts making "bored" noises I start piling on chores. The boring and messy ones are the best. It didn't take long for her to start finding ways to amuse herself without crying to me about it.

    Answer by laurelsmama at 11:41 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Show her the difference between a normal or sweet voice and a whiney or irritating voice, and then tell her you only respond to normal/sweet voices. When she whines ignore her or ask her to go to her room and come back when she can speak in a normal voice - be sure and do this the first time she whines before you have a chance to get too annoyed by it. If she asks in a normal voice for a treat that will cost more than you want to spend, say "that sounds like fun, but how about we _________ instead today." If she doesn't get on board with your idea and show a good attitude very quickly, then tell her it's sad but you won't be doing either because it won't be any fun for you if you have to do it with someone with a bad attitude. You might also consider asking her to come up with ideas that won't cost any money and let it be her problem.

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 11:46 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Thank you all so much for the great ideas! I am already putting some in place! Both kids are coloring quietly beside me right now! They have tons of coloring books they are bored with, so I have to get creative sometimes... I printed 2 different pictures from a BackYardigans web site - 1 version in color, 1 black and white. They each have to color their own page to match the printed page! I'm sure this is only good for 30 minutes... so keep the answers coming! But maybe it will give me time to devise a behavior chart for each of them. (she is influencing my 4 yr old's behavior these days!)

    I am so exasperated with the begging and attempts at defiant behavior, I just want to scream! Your support has put me back on track to being a cool mommy just wanting to have fun! :o) Maybe there are other moms out there that are going through this and need ideas too.. keep 'em coming!

    Comment by Annette4 (original poster) at 11:59 AM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • By not giving in to any of her demands. By not allowing that behavior to be validated or rewarded. By not allowing her to dictate what is happening when - those decisions belong to the adults, not the children. It'll take some time to break her bad habits, but you'll do just fine.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 2:31 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • How about everyone playing a board game, including you? It shows you want to have fun with them. Our family always loved Scrabble. Just an idea..........

    Answer by elizabr at 3:15 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • My daughter just turned 8 this year and there has been a lot of whining over the years. It has gotten better somewhat, but it's a constant battle. There is a lot of whining on TV, so keep an eye on how much she is watching. I tell DD that I can't hear a whine, and I continue with whatever I'm doing until I hear a normal voice. Sometimes she throws herself on the couch, crying alligator tears hysterically, or calls dramatically, but I stand my ground. I spell it out sometimes too. I tell her that she is free to whine and throw a fit whenever she wants, but if she wants something, I need to hear a normal voice. Enlist her help around the house, give her chores, have her "watch" her younger sibling while you get dinner started. Have both of them help you prepare dinner and set the table.
    Can you take a walk and start a nature collection? Or take photos of what you see, then print them for a scapbook?
    Good luck!

    Answer by RedRowan at 10:48 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

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