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I just spanked my son

and I feel like I need to turn myself in or commit myself. I have never felt so guilty in my life. I am so anti-spanking it's not even funny. I have been very stressed, my son, 27 months old is going through the "how-far-can-I-push-my-parents phase". He hit my breaking point, he climbed on a table and ripped up my parsley after numerous STOP IT's and NO's, I grabbed him, spanked his behind and brought him to his room for a time out (the time out was more for me). He seemed more affected by the time out, but still...WTF is wrong with me? Why would I hit my son if i'm so against it in the first place? My mom only hit me once whenI was young and sincerely apologized right after. She never did it since. I will never discipline like this EVER again. So I declare myself the bad mom of the year :(

 
Owl_Feather

Asked by Owl_Feather at 1:26 PM on Jul. 27, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 22 (13,272 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • You're not a bad mom. I see where you feel that thought. I don't like spanking either.

    When you're so upset over a constant behavior by your toddler, and don't want to resort to spanking... you can always try walking away for a min. Take a deep breath. Come back to carry out the time out.

    Many moms have been in this position before, and it's nothing to beat yourself up over too much. :D You seem like a great mom!
    Skepticchick

    Answer by Skepticchick at 1:29 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Because you're not perfect. No parent is. It's okay. You obviously regret it and you seem to me like it's something you won't do again, especially considering you're so torn up about it. Take this mistake and learn from it. Don't be so hard on yourself! :O)
    LovingSAHMommy

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 1:30 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • It's ok, you are not perfect and one spanking will not scar him for life. Every parent has a point where they just are beside themselves, you reached it, you realized it and now you can correct it. Walk away, if spanking is not what you want to do, then recognize where you were at in anger and remember it, in the future when you feel yourself at that point giver yourself the time out and once it has passed continue with whatever from of discipline you choose to use.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 1:37 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • awwwwww

    One you realized you didn't like displining him that way, and that does not make you a bad mom. You need to get away for your self, and get a break. Even if it is too a friends house for some coffee, or soda what ever it may be. YOU NEED YOU TIME!!!!

    Also, no really does not work, you say no remove him from the situation and distract him. I think that is the only way.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 1:30 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Hugs!!! I remember when my 2 older ones were little and they knew just what buttons to push --what one didn't think of the other did add in special needs and autism on top of it....well some days seemed like a living hell. After one such 'bad day' I called my grandma and I was telling her what the 'demon spawn' did that day and she stated to laugh. My frustration took her back in time to when she was a young mom to my dad and his brothers (they were hellions!). She said to me "Honey, just remember This too shall pass." She was right. So now when my kids push me to the limit I take a few deep calming breaths and think of grandma. I swear sometimes I can hear her whispering it in my ear 'this too shall pass'.
    Just remember you are NOT alone most of us have been to that point at some time or another.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 2:08 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • oh btw i didnt leave any marks....but that's besides the point :(:(:(
    Owl_Feather

    Comment by Owl_Feather (original poster) at 1:27 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I think you're over reacting. Kids have been spanked for years and they turned out fine!
    ABusyBee

    Answer by ABusyBee at 1:29 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Well, Me and my girlfriend question this all the time, how can someone SO small and innocent test every OUNCE of your patience?? I don't know mommy.. deep breaths.. I have done it once too and I never never wanted to as I never was spanked.... I took mine as a learning experience - good luck!!
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:30 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • It is absolutely normal for a parent to cross the breaking point. Children who test us sometimes shove us over the line. Remember how it felt this time and next time, practice breathing and counting to ten before you spank. It doesn't make you a bad mother or a bad person, it just makes you a frustrated mom.
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 1:32 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • its okay. i know how you feel, my son is 14 months old.. and that happened to me once too. i am VERY against spanking, but just the other day he kept going to the garbage can while i was doing the dishes, i kept saying no and stop it and he knows what no means because he would stop walk away until i wasnt looking .. well finally he pulls the whole garbage down, spills everything out, so i run over and i move him away and tell him no as im trying to clean up the shit, he keeps comming back and starts playing with like rotten yogurt or whatever that spilled out and i just got so annoyed i slapped his hand/arm and he started crying. i felt so bad.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 1:32 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

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