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Waiting for your true love to come around?

I have a best guy friend who I've had feelings for for about a year now. I was in a relationship so I kept those feelings repressed. Once my ex and I broke up he and I became closer. One night one thing led to another and we hooked up, this happened a couple times, but I ended it because my feelings were too strong for a friends with benefits kind of thing. He always wants to spend time with me and respects the fact that i can't be a friend with benefits. We can talk to each other about anything and are happy just to be around each other. We both have kids from previous relationships so it makes things complicated. I don't want to push him into something that he's not ready for, but its getting hard for me to wait around when I feel like he's the person that i'm meant to be with but I don't know for a fact that it's ever going to go anywhere. Cont...

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Asked by yezay at 1:57 PM on Jul. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (567 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • It's also hard for me to move on where I feel like I've already met the one and everyone else is a waste of time. A friend of mine to me to be patient and that everything will be made clear and that if it's meant to be he'll come to that conclusion in his own time. I'm just not sure what to do in the mean time. Do I continue spending time with him and hanging out or do I go and pursue other people? I just feel like I'm constantly at a cross roads.

    Comment by yezay (original poster) at 1:58 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I don't blame you for not wanting a friend with benefits, that's not good for a friendship. You need to sit down and be honest with him, you may have to go your seperate ways, but that might be good for both of you. Good luck, I hope the best for both of you!!

    Answer by DaynaLC83 at 2:05 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I think you should just give it more time. If he is the one, then this will be time well spent. You are learning to be friends on a deeper level all the time, and this is so important for life-time marriages. The sexual part is wonderful, but it is far better when you have bonded on an emotional level before the physical. I think you are being very wise, and I encourage you to keep doing exactly what you are doing. I think that the signs are that this guy cares for you a lot, and he sounds to me like he is worth waiting for him to discover just how much you really do mean to him.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:07 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • We've had many talks and at this point I need him in my life as a friend at the very least. He told me a few months ago that he "didn't think of me that way" But that's pretty much after I forced him to tell me that he didn't want to date "ME" not just that he didn't want to date anyone. I just couldn't keep holding on. We took a break in our friendship and I realized that I can't live without him not matter what context. He calls or texts me almost every day and he invites me over or asks me to hang out. I just feel like he's making excuses to me and to himself for why we can't date. 1. It'll ruin our friendship. 2. We both have kids with other people and that causes drama. 3. His baby mama is crazy and would probably make our lives hell and might jeopardize his ability to see his son. He's going for custody of his son and I'm hoping that after that's all squared away it will free him up to do what he wants.

    Comment by yezay (original poster) at 2:09 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Thank you Nanny B. He's definitely worth waiting for... I'm just afraid that he'll never come to the realization that we are really good together.

    Comment by yezay (original poster) at 2:11 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I would ask him how he feels no threats just ask and find out ask him questions and figure out where this is going?

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 2:14 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Their are times when two people are not int the same place in their lives.You want to hook up and he doesn't right now. Isay tell him how you feel and then start dating others. A new guy might be the right guy too.

    Answer by louise2 at 2:21 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I'm definitely going to date around, but I don't feel like I take it seriously because he's the person that I ultimately want. We had a talk the other day that he won't judge me based on what I do while we're not together. Neither of us has ever had a connection like this with another person... It's just not the right time for him at least.

    Comment by yezay (original poster) at 2:30 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I honestly think you should just date other people. If the other guy wants to be with you, then dating other will affect him. If it doesn't affect him then I would move on because he just doesn't want this type of relationship with you. Just m opinion.

    Answer by bjane01 at 3:11 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

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