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i have a child who is one and a pg with a baby right now my problem is when i told my mother today she told me i was ruining my life. i dont know how to say that its my life and i just want her to butt out but i want to say it in away i dont hurt her HELP!!!


Asked by Anonymous at 6:10 AM on Jun. 29, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • sometimes we older moms still see you younger moms as our "babies" and voice our opinion without thinking first that you are an adult and it's your life and your decision. One of the biggest fears I see among older moms is that we fear we are no longer needed or our voice is no longer heard or of value. I agree that what she said was unsupportive, unkind and she must not have thought before she spoke. I think that your desire to not hurt her feelings shows you are a wonderful woman who is mature and knows what she wants in her own life. Just tell mom that you love her and value her opinion but this is your life, your time, your family and you'd like her support in your happiness. Congrats btw!

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:26 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • Mom, I love you. It's too bad you feel that way, but it is my life afterall and my decision when to have another baby.

    Don't worry about hurting her feelings. She will have to deal with her feelings. As long as you are respectful, you are only responsible for your own feelings.

    I don't know your situation but your mother does. Is it possible she has a point. She may be concerned about you if you are unmarried, dropped out of college, etc. So, I would look for the nugget of truth in what she said too. It can't hurt. Sometimes, mama still knows best.

    Answer by manna1qd at 9:02 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • im married in school and have ni idea y she said it

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:22 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • my family said the same thing when I told them I was pregnant with my son. I simply told them that it was my choice (although unplanned) and they either support me or back off.

    Answer by kaysha at 9:47 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • Just speak respectfully and honestly.

    Answer by ToldUNo at 10:25 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • Try to be nice about it and explain that you dont feel the same way that she does, That its your life and your choices to make.

    Ive been dealing with a lot of people telling me that im going to be miserable.. jumping to conclusions that this second pregnancy is an accident..etc... they all jump on me because my daughter is nine months old (almost ten) and I am 19 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. Oh well. We planned and tried for this baby, if they cant respect the choices we make as a married couple, then they can say their opinion once and then keep it to themselves.

    Answer by Cmyfantasyworld at 12:03 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • I remember when I told my dad about my #2 baby, and his response was "oh, karen (sigh)" in that very disappointed tone. That stayed with me for a long time, and even when #3 was on the way, I did not share with him after some time. Those grandbabies are his pride and joy, and he loves each and every one. Don't let the first reaction take away your joy. Stay focused on your plan to manage those two little ones, continuing to enjoy your one year old (they are not babies for long), and once your mom sees how happy you are, she will be your #1 supporter. Congratulations on your new little blessing! ~ karen

    Answer by cricket0331 at 1:05 PM on Jun. 29, 2008