Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Torn between 2 guys...?

My sons father and I broke up a few months ago. We're on good terms and are able to hang out as friends. We had planned on trying again in a few months. We both want to be a family, we just need to figure our shit out. Since then I've been talking to a friend from HS who is now in the Army. I've made plans to fly down to where he's stationed when he starts his leave and we'll drive back up together to our town. I'm starting to really care about him and have feelings for him, but I don't know how he feels about me. Should I tell him how I feel and become a military girlfriend or seriously try to work things out with my ex?

Answer Question
 
Mommy2Max217

Asked by Mommy2Max217 at 2:18 PM on Jul. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 10 (437 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I would tell him how you feel. He may think its just a fling. Or a lot of those military guys just want some one to "come home to" or to be "waiting for them" when they get back. I wouldn't extinguish your son's father so soon. What seems greener may not be.
    dragonlady320

    Answer by dragonlady320 at 2:20 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Be honest, but don't lead your ex on. It could be dangerous.
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 2:23 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I would try and work it out with your son's father if possible. There are obviously reasons though why you broke up though in the first place. So if you really think that things will not work out at all with your son's father, then I would tell this military friend how you feel and see if he feels the same way. But I would seriously consider working it out with your son's father first. I wouldn't rush to be with this military person so soon.
    ktlyn79s

    Answer by ktlyn79s at 2:25 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • My answer...neither are the right man; look for the qualities you like from them both and in one guy! Honest, he is out there somewhere!
    marthageneric

    Answer by marthageneric at 2:44 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Can you trust the guy?
    lyllmamma

    Answer by lyllmamma at 3:07 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Yes, I can trust him.
    Mommy2Max217

    Comment by Mommy2Max217 (original poster) at 3:15 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I think you need to put your child first. If your child's father is a good man and wanting to work things out, then even talking to this other guy with any romantic intentions at all is wrong. Planning to spend money to fly down to see him and then take a leisurely drive up together is even more wrong. Work things out with your son's father and commit. That relationship will never work if you are always looking for a back up relationship.
    ThrivingMom

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 3:39 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I'm not looking for a back up. And things with my sons father didn't work out because he thinks I'm an uptight bitch and would rather go back to school and live with friends than be a dad. He broke up with me. How is talking to my friend wrong if I'm single?
    Mommy2Max217

    Comment by Mommy2Max217 (original poster) at 3:51 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Also, he's paying for me to fly down there, I'm not.
    Mommy2Max217

    Comment by Mommy2Max217 (original poster) at 3:52 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • It is not healthy for a child to live in a family that does not get along, so if you really don't think things will work out with the baby's father then I would talk with this other guy. How old is your son? You don't also want him confused with his dad living with you and then not, so you really need to make a decision about whether or not you will think it will work with your son's father or not, then take it from there. As kids get older it confuses them if people come and go. I wish you the best of luck, it is a tough decision and you deserve to be happy at the same time thinking about your son.
    ktlyn79s

    Answer by ktlyn79s at 4:19 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.