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How do I potty train my 7 year old...or get her to stop messing her pants?

We have been to the dr. She is on Myalax to help with the constipation she gets from holding. And because she holds...it also makes her wet herself. She will not change her clothes, and will sit in this till I tell her to go clean up! She stinks and the kids are making fun of her. SHe don't care! I have gone as far as making her wear diapers....she don't care about that either. We have offered great rewards...taken things aways...given extra privledges that she likes...taken away priviledges....nothing seems to work!!!!ughhhhh. She has to miss sleepovers even cause she will mess herself. She gets busy playing and won't stop to go. She has had xrays as well...no problems. She is very much loved and is the youngest of 4. There is no abuse going on either....so that is NOT the cause either!!! I am so out of ideas on what to do. She has flushed her pannies, hid them in drawers and under her bed...ughhhh!

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momtobjng

Asked by momtobjng at 3:33 PM on Jul. 27, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • OMG!!!! I feel your pain, even though mine is only four, he still poops in his pants too. Call Dr. Phil.
    JGRIMMER

    Answer by JGRIMMER at 3:36 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Oh man.. I know I used to wet the bed at night til well lets just say, til I was older than I should have been but wow, that's something else.. what do the Dr's say?? Have they heard of kids doing this before?
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:36 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I'm sorry to hear that you and your child are going through this. If she's constipated and it's hurting bad enough it's enough to cause her to NOT want to go and yes that will put pressure on the bladder but I couldn't tell you anything to do to help her. I personally have not had to deal with this issue but I hope that you can get it fixed.
    Tabatha42183

    Answer by Tabatha42183 at 3:42 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • One idea......Could it be Encopresis? I got this info online. The description is............. Basically, it is a condition in which a child after the age of 4 soils himself two or more times a week due to chronic constipation. Apparently the condition is brought on when a child gets constipated and it hurts to use the potty. So, the next time they need to use the potty, they think that it is going to hurt again, and they try to hold it in again and again. Eventually this causes an impaction in the bowel and leakage (the soiling) starts to occur around the impaction. It gets to the point where the child cannot control the leakage and does not even realize at times that it is happening. Educate yourself first (plenty of articles online for a start) and ask your pediatrician about this and you want it considered seriously. Counseling might be involved. I wish you and your child all the best.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 3:45 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Elizabr you said exactly what I was going to. Encopresis is actually alot more common then you'd think. I know two kids that have it and this isnt my own kids. You said exactly what I would of. This is not her being lazy and I cannot believe your childs doctor has not educated you more on this. I would call and make an appointment to get her further evaluated and for you to get more information on how to help her.
    mistynights234

    Answer by mistynights234 at 10:18 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • the doctor has diagnosed her with Encopresis. Which is why she is on myralax every other day. Part of it is being lazy on top of the problem though. Her colon is stretched from holding it and the myralax keeps things soft so it won't hurt to go. The dr said it takes about 6 months for the colon to shrink. I understand that some of it she can't quite control. But she only messes herself if she is out playing. If I constantly send her to the bathroom...she will go and stay clean and dry all day. But the problem I am having is that she will sit in this stinking mess ALL day if I didn't tell her to change and bathe. I will ask her if she messed when I smell it....and she stares at me....she knows what has happened. She just refuses to change. She would flush her pannies and hide them in her room. She has hid them in baskets, closets.... these are the other problems that are going on with this.
    momtobjng

    Comment by momtobjng (original poster) at 12:20 AM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • Part of the problem is the encopresis itself.  With it comes losing the sensation that she has to poop.  It explains why she stays clean when you send her to the bathroom and why she soils herself when distracted by playing.  She may still not feel that she needs to go. Then she makes the mess and may or may not smell it at first.  After the realization of what's happened comes the embarrassment of having done it & at that age kids often have the mindset of "If I ignore it, nobody will know" or "it will go away"  I'm not surprised that she tries to hide the panties. And it may take 6 months for the colon to shrink back to normal but this is something that you will likely have to stay on top of for a year anyway.  Another product that may help her too are pedia-lax fiber gummies. . Good Luck

    Krysden

    Answer by Krysden at 12:35 AM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • Whatever you do don't make her feel bad about this. It is something she can't control. No child at 7 wants to do this on purpose. Think of how helpless she feels. Since there is nothing she can do about it, she tries her best to ignore it. I have gone through this for the past 3 years with my daughter who is now 6. Save yourself years of heartache and take her off of dairy immediately. You do not have to be allergic to milk to have an intolerance to milk that makes it painful to poop. She probably has tears near her anus and lesions from this intolerance to milk. This makes her want to withhold and not go creating the constipation and encopresis. Try eliominationg dairy (cheese, milk, yogurt) for 2 weeks--it will take that long for her body to cleanse the milk proteins. http://www.nejm.org/doi/pdf/10.1056/NEJM199810153391602.If this doesn't work look into diagnosing for Celiac Disease or Hirschsprungs Disease.
    oregonmom22

    Answer by oregonmom22 at 8:54 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • Sorry on misspelling eliminating-- I also wanted to mention checking by CAT scan for a Tethered Cord. A Barium Enema can also tell if she has Hirschsprung's Disease and give more detail on other possible conditions of her colon. The web link above is a scientific study on lactose intolerance and encopresis in children. It actually made me mad that none of the countless doctors we have seen over the past 3 years suggested eliminating milk.
    oregonmom22

    Answer by oregonmom22 at 9:00 PM on Aug. 8, 2010

  • We already went through the possibility it could be milk intolerance. Her poop is soft from the Myralx that she takes every couple of days. She just would rather sit in it than change or bathe. She messed herself 4 times yesterday! I am as patient as I can be...sometimes after 4 times....gets very hard to be patient!!! Hope today is a better day!
    momtobjng

    Comment by momtobjng (original poster) at 8:38 AM on Aug. 11, 2010

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