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When so many people around me have been/are being cheated on,

how do I not question the strength of my marriage? Any my own husbands commitment? I know, every man is different, every marriage is different. But when a friend tells you 'I NEVER saw this coming', it's hard not to question. How to I stop?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on Jul. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Stop looking around and start looking in. Look at yourself, your own spouse, your own relationship ... that's the measure.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 4:36 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I've thought the same thing sometimes. It's happened to our relatives, on of my husband's closest friends and they never saw it coming either. My only advice is to try your best to let it go and not let it make you crazy. Always work on your marriage and try to be each other's best friend.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 4:42 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • If you focus on it, always wonder "what if".etc. you can possibly drive a wedge between you and your husband. The questioning can build, the insecurity can build, and it can negatively affect your relationship.

    The reality is this. No matter how much you question, stress, wonder, worry.etc. You have absolutely NO control over whether or not your husband may one day make the choice to cheat. None. he and only he has control over that. No matter how much you worry, or wonder, can affect his choices in life.

    Once you accept that you have no control over his decisions, you just have control over yourself and your own actions/reaction, the what if's and wondering will slowly fade away.

    All you can do is , Both of you, put in the effort to have the healthiest, happiest, most satisfying marriage you guys can have. That' s it. The happier a person is with themselves &/or their relationship, the less likely they are to cheat
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 4:43 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • If it ain't broke don't fix it, you ever heard that old saying...not everyone is being cheated on. If you are good where you are in your relationship, don't let others misfortune ruin your good thing.
    MrsAJLaw

    Answer by MrsAJLaw at 4:51 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Get away just you and you husband. Go on a date and reconnect and loosen the bonds with the broken marraiges. Even if they are close friends, it's best to get some distance to avoid it from contaminating your marraige. Trust me, I've been there before. The guys my husband worked with were all single and he was out on the road and did what single guys do....lonely housewife at home, reconnected with an old ex and it could have been alot worse had my husband and I not recognized where this was all about to take us, our marraige and our chldren. Good Luck,
    KariLyn84

    Answer by KariLyn84 at 5:05 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Also ask him a what if question, like "if you could cheat on me and get away with it, would you? Works best if you ask a bunch of ridiculous questions that aren't so serious to start... but it's not all in what he says, make sure he's looking straight into your eyes when he answers...that's where the honesty will come from! ;)
    KariLyn84

    Answer by KariLyn84 at 5:07 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • what good will it do to continue that mindset other than to damage your relationship? there are never any guarantees in relationships, and cheating is only one form of betrayal. lack of trust in your partner who has given you no reason to question him is another...
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 6:46 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Just believe in yourself and know that if he ever does cheat, you will be ok and you'll get through it. You're probably an empath, someone who picks up other peoples energy really strong, and you are picking up on their feeling and thinking they are your own.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 9:00 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

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