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Is it normal to feel unattractive five months after giving birth?

Im a first time mom with a five month baby girl. My problem is that I dont feel attractive or sexy anymore and I fear is putting a strain on my relationship. I dont get in the mood anymore, im so tired, so I haven't had sex for about two weeks. Like austin powers said, i think i have lost "my mojo". What do I do? help, need advice.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:04 AM on Oct. 3, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Have you tried getting a haircut, or perm or something? Maybe a new outfit.
    secretgirl

    Answer by secretgirl at 12:08 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • it happens, but i know when i was breast feeding and tired i didn't want to be touch or anything but when i gave the breast feeding up and naped when the baby was napping then i started to do something different with my hair and the way i dressed it started getting better.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • Having a baby takes alot out of your body, some women take much longer to bounce back. I didn't start to feel like myself again until my son was 8 months old. Not to mention taking care of a baby is alot of work. It's hard to get into the mood when all you want to do is sleep, try talking to your SO and let him know that putting pressure on you about sex just makes it worse. He needs to be your support system right now, to help you get through this. Also sometimes the MOJO needs alittle shove to get going, ask your SO to dust off the good stuff and get with the program, you know what I'm talking about, the stuff he used in the beginning to snag you in the first place. Hey this kind of a problem requires a team effort to win.
    musiclovingmomm

    Answer by musiclovingmomm at 12:17 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • for me after i had my oldest i felt that way now ive had 2 and tehy r 6 and 4 and i still feel that way sometimes what works for me is throwing on a sexy nightie doing my hair and make-up and as uncomfortable as i feel i prance around in front of my man and make him work for iy which it drives hm crazy in a good way which makes me feel better hope it helps
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 12:54 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I think stress and a lack of sleep can really put a kink in our desire to be intimate with our mates. I love my baby's father with all my heart but I also have no desire to be intimate. I've lost forty pounds since the baby was born but I still feel dumpy and unattractive so I know what you are going through. I may just give in soon so that he doesn't think that I am not attracted to him anymore cuz that is what he has been saying lately. Good luck!
    djsmama904

    Answer by djsmama904 at 12:59 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • its normal.we tend to think we need to look a certain way for our mate to find us attractive. find a baby sitter and go out once in a while. if its your weight it takes time for it to come off. if u dont take care of yourself your no good to anyone. so you need to take time out and do things that make you feel good about yourself. i did the whole not wanting to have sex cause i was afraid my hubby wouldn't want to look at me but once i started doing that he thought i was just not into HIM.if u dont get intimate it will put a damper on your relationship.
    marykaysauer

    Answer by marykaysauer at 1:10 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • It may be that you are experiencing some depression - not post partum exactly, just mild depression from the changes of living with a new baby. Talk to your dr and ask about Lexapro. It's a gentle antidepressant that was created for women and doesn't have big, bad side effects. In a few days to a week you should feel much better. After a few months, when being a mommy gets a little easier and you're feeling more normal again you will be able to wean off of it. It's not habit forming and won't make you feel weird. I hope you get back to your normal self soon. Blessings!
    GrowingMama

    Answer by GrowingMama at 1:23 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • ..... I haven't felt sexy in oh over 3 years. Yeah I have moments but other then that iI dont' feel that sexy.... shit I've been single for over a year and I can't get no mojo going....
    Alaina623

    Answer by Alaina623 at 3:11 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. MY DAUGHTER IS 1 1/2. I LOST ALOT OF THE WIEGHT, BUT I GOT SOME PRETTY BAD STRETCH MARKS. I FEEL LIKE I HAVE COTTAGE CHEESE BUTT, THIGHS, AND EVEN MY STOMACHE. WHEN HUBBY IS WANTING IT AND I JUST DONT HAVE IT IN ME I DO THIS: I GO HOP INTO THE SHOWER, PLAY WITH MYSELF JUST ENOUGH TO SPARK SOMETHING, THROW ON A SEXY NIGHTY (TO COVER THE AREAS I AM UNHAPPY WITH) LIGHT A CANDLE (FOR ROMANCE AND COVER) AND ADD SOME PERFUME. BY THE TIME I AM DONE WITH THAT I HAVE WORKED UP ENOUGH SELFESTEEM TO GIVE HIM SOME. YOU CAN EVEN SAY, I'M GONNA HOP IN THE SHOWER MAYBE YOU COULD LIGHT A CANDLE AND WAIT FOR ME IN THE BEDROOM. TELL HIM THAT HE MIGHT NEED TO WARM THE OVEN INORDER TO GET YOU REVED UP. GOOD LUCK! MAYBE SOMEONE CAN KEEP THE BABY ONE EVENING SO THAT YOU CAN GO ON A DATE AND THEN GO HOME AND TAKE CARE OF THIS. THEN THE BABY CAN STAY OVER AT SAID PLACE OR YOU GUYS CAN GET BABY AFTER SOME FUN.
    alicia_4307

    Answer by alicia_4307 at 3:56 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I think it is normal more often than not. We don't really know what having a baby does to our bodies, the sleep deprivation is hard, and it is very emotional to say the least. I didn't get that I could not wear regular clothes out of the hospital after my first was born. I was shocked my baggy overalls didn't fit. My best advice is to buy an outfit in regular clothes, regardless of size, get your hair done and put on a little makeup. Take a little time for just you. I found it much easier after I had baby 2, and baby 3 to get back into life, and my "mojo." You aren't alone at all. A baby is the ultimate gift, but they change your way of life and change is great, but you have to get used to it too.

    Teachermom01

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 6:30 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

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