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My ex wants me to let him reduce his child support payments.

He has not always been honest about his salary and when he was making over100K a year he did not ever pay any extra but now he claims that his salary has decreased and he has alot of debt due to credit cards, another minor chikd that he pays childs support to as well as another child by his live in girlfriend that does not work outside the home. he lives in a very nice house, has a brand new truck, a motorcycle, a jet-ski, flat screen tv's as well as other material things that I see as a "want" and not a "need" like going to two cruises in one year. He has asked me to let him pay "what I can get by on" in child support until he can get caught up on his other bills. We have always gotten along very well and can usually work things out but I am tired of him taking advantage of me. He is now accusing me of just wanting to fight and not care that he is "struggling". I'd appreciate any advice on this. Thanks alot.

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magnolia4

Asked by magnolia4 at 4:47 PM on Jul. 27, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Nope. His other bills are not your problem, they are his. Your child should not have to suffer because he can't stop blowing his money. He can tell his live-in to get a job.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:49 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • tell him to sell his jet ski, motorcycle, and big screen tv if he has other bills to pay, your child comes first!
    cassie_m

    Answer by cassie_m at 4:49 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Maybe he should manage his money better.
    xxlilmomma09

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 4:49 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I'd tell him to let the court decide that, they can look at his finances in ways that you cannot. If there is a legitimate reason, then you can be accommodating... however, it isn't your child's fault that he's having trouble or caring for other children.
    HistoryMamaX3

    Answer by HistoryMamaX3 at 4:50 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I would refuse. He can live without those things. If he's so poor maybe his other woman needs to get a job. I hate it when people who obviously have money try to get out of caring for their kids. It makes me sick. My father did this too.
    mommypip

    Answer by mommypip at 4:50 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • If he is struggling that badly, he can sell his truck and other things that aren't necessary...then learn to live with in his means. It does sound like he's taking advantage of you. Those are all HIS problems, not yours. HE needs to figure out a way to deal with it...and not take away from your son.

    momjoy1027

    Answer by momjoy1027 at 4:50 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • DON'T DO IT. My mom did and my dad lived a much "richer" life with 2 homes while my mom struggled to put food on the table.
    Let him suffer.... his kids should be his priority !!
    parrishsky

    Answer by parrishsky at 4:53 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • U said "ex" so his problem is no longer your problem. And u need to let him know that. And he pays child support to the other child with no problem. Girl don't drop nothing he might want that extra money for another boy toy.
    mamaofficer

    Answer by mamaofficer at 4:54 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • If he is that hard off then he needs to have a garage sale. If it is that bad then he can take you to court to have the payments decreased.
    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 5:05 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I could understand if he really was struggling but he is only struggling because he can't simply pay for all his luxury items as well as the child support.

    Tell him to get rid of his luxury items, his nice house..and if he is still struggling then you might consider it.

    If my ex asked me this..and he was ACTUALLY struggling then I might help him..but if he had all these things and was trying to tell me he was struggling I wouldn't. If he has credit card bills he can easily sell things off to pay them off.

    You just need to tell him that you can't help him. You aren't the one causing a fight..he is because he didn't like the fact you said no.
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 5:08 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

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