Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How much privacy should our children have?

I have a 14 year old daughter. She has a phone, email account, diary, Facebook page. I'm FB friends with her, and I know all of her passwords. I check her texts regularly (and she KNOWS I do), but she's no dummy, and knows how to delete. In this day & age I'm afraid of what information she may be getting!

Do YOU read your child's communications? Do you think it's wrong? I'd love to hear some opinions!

Answer Question

Asked by dianepix at 4:54 PM on Jul. 27, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 4 (35 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I dont think its wrong at all. Its our job as parents to keep them safe..what your doing is part of it. If they want privacy they have to earn it!

    Answer by nsrush83 at 4:55 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I have a 14 year old sister living with me. I don't read her texts or e-mails but I make sure I talk with her a lot and we share everything. She knows she can talk to me about anything she wants in the world. It was the same way with her and my mom and me and my mom. I don't have to check her texts. She has her privacy but I still know everything.

    Answer by pipermomofash at 4:56 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • As much as they consistently demonstrate that they can handle responsibly, and even then subject to occasional monitoring/checking. Teens aren't known for their excellent decision-making skills and it's our job to teach them!

    Answer by justnancyb at 4:57 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I thinl that children have to earn trust. But its our jobs to teach it to them and also how to be responsible with that trust.

    Answer by dragonlady44 at 4:58 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • ha when my daughter is old enough to use the computer I"m getting spy software put on there so I can see everything she does... and she will not have a cell phone unless she has a job and pays for it

    Answer by big_red05 at 4:59 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • ooh..I check everything too! I have all passwords, FB friend, check texts, email, have her turn her phone over to me at 9pm everynight...even in the summer. There is way too many creeps out there and even though they think they are all grown up at 14, they are still silly little girls, that sometimes can't make the best decisions. They have no life experience , how can they?

    Answer by ckap4707 at 5:16 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • When my dd was 14 yes I checked everything, and she knew it. Now that she is 17 she has more privacy. If I feel the need to check her phone or her facebook, I do it in front of her. I'll take her phone or make her log on for me. Then she knows, I usually do this when I have a reason. I have been known to sneek and go through her stuff if I feel some thing is going on. But it has not been easy and she has learned the hard way sometimes it is easier to trust and be trusted than to go against mom!

    Answer by wallmom1 at 7:54 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I have never read anything unless they wanted me too. However, my teens also know that I will read or check into things if I think there is a need to.

    Answer by marchar2002 at 10:30 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I do not check their emails, texts, or FB communications. I am friended by them on FB and myspace, so i do have access. My rule is simple: I will give you the privelage of privacy. If you break my trust or give me a reason not to trust you, I have every right to access or snoop into their accounts.
    I believe that they should have the rights to privacy and the right to show me their maturity and ability to make good decisions. Only one of my children lost that privilage and it was for lying about a place he was going. That was a yr ago and I have stopped checking up on him. After accessing his account, I found he led a pretty tamed existance!

    Answer by momsbreak5654 at 5:51 AM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • When my DD got a computer and phone at 14, we told her we would randomly check up on her to make sure things were OK. We did and found some not so nice things coming through to her from a BF and another guy in her class. Things that were inappropriate and rated adult. The computer as moved permanently to the living room, and AIM and texting was taken away. Now that she's 16, she has FB and texting, but the rule is still we can check up anytime for any reason. She has a BF, so I check from time to time, but recently, I told her I will ask her for info and if she is honest with me, then I will not assume's when they are sneaky that we as parents assume the worst. They definitely don't have the ability to handle all this communication at a young age. And I will say that i found that boys are not as well monitored in this regard!! MY son (12) will be!

    Answer by dflygirl7 at 7:16 AM on Jul. 28, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.