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Would you go on vacation if your father was sick in the hospital???

My uncle is very sick with cancer and he's in the hospital and his son took off on vacation. I'm really annoyed by this!!! I would be more understanding if it was another family member but one of your parents. What do you think?

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nicksmommy1000

Asked by nicksmommy1000 at 5:25 PM on Jul. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 6 (137 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I wouldn't.. But that is just me.
    xxlilmomma09

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 5:26 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • This is a hard one.... I was in a similar situation. A close relative was very ill and I had the opportunity to go a movie premiere in Los Angeles and an after party. I stayed home because he was sick, but I regret not going. You have to live your life and not let other people being sick slow you down. You only have one life to live.... live it!
    sherribeare

    Answer by sherribeare at 5:28 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • i missed a lot of things because he was in the hospital actually. so no, i wouldnt, but that's just me. i dont see how anyone could enjoy a vacation while their parent is in the hospital.
    jennifer588

    Answer by jennifer588 at 5:29 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • When I was in high school, i had the opportunity to perform on a stage in Disney World. My grandmother was in the hospital and it was figured that she would die before I came back. I didn't want to leave. My mom took me to see her. Gram knew she wasn't going to make it, she told me she was ready. I told Gram I wasn't going to go on my trip. Gram told me she wanted me to go. She said that this was a wonderful opportunity and that she loved it at Disney World and it would make her happy knowing I was at a place that she loved so much. I went, because she wanted me to. She passed away before I came home.

    Please, do not judge. The son might be under stress dealing with his father's condition. It may be a way to cope. It may be his way of saying "he's going to be fine". He may even have his father's blessing as I did my grandmother's. I'm sure he is in contact with everyone so that he knows how things are going.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 5:34 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • It is very possible that your uncle told his son to go. Having a family member ill and constantly in the hospital is hard on a person. He (your cousin) may feel that he needs to feel normal for a few days or a week.

    Last year we watched my FIL go from a rather vibrant 85 yr old to a feeble old man on his way to dying in a matter of months. We were scheduled to take the kids to DIsney and a family function roughly 1500 miles from home. We dithered about it until he yelled at us to go. We went and ended up coming home a bit early because he was hospitalized again, twice in a month actually. It was just that little bit of sanity that we needed to forge on ahead, knowing what was coming up - his dying and mourning our loss.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 5:38 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • My grandmother was just diagnosed with a terminal disease and my mom and uncle are taking turns caring for her. My uncle went camping and my mom had set up a New Orleans trip over a year before grandma got sick to see old high school friends from Grease. She almost didn't go. I am glad I talked her into going and I think she is too...
    ABusyBee

    Answer by ABusyBee at 5:41 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • It depends on the situation. Are there other family members? Is he expected to live? What are his wishes?


    My father had cancer and I lived in IN and he was in FL. I was divorced and the law was in IN you can't leave the state with your child without the father's permission or it was kidnapping. We didn't know where my son's father was so I petitioned the court and the judge said I couldn't leave the state with my son. My son was young and I didn't have anyone to leave him with. So I didn't get to see my father or go to his funeral. I didn't get to see my grandmothers when they were dying in Florida. It makes me so sad and it was years ago. 

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 5:41 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • my dad...i wouldnt care to even visit. honestly. if it was my papaw, i would drive all the way across the country for.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 5:48 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I agree with you, I wouldnt but thats just me...
    SWEETPEAS3MOM

    Answer by SWEETPEAS3MOM at 6:09 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • it really depends on alot of things - their relationship, if this was a prepaid vacation he can't get a refund on and can't afford again, if he is working and has a hard time scheduling time off work, if the dad is expected to die during the time on vacation, etc., etc. don't judge until you've walked in someone else's shoes. if the dad is expected to pass, if it were me i'd take any loss on the vacation, but often people are in and out of the hospital with cancer and life has to go on at some point... also, maybe the son is having a really hard time dealing with the cancer and just doesn't really know how to react - who really knows... just try to be supportive of your uncle and all family members who are experiencing suffering in their own way right now.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 6:28 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

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