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i was molested by my parents and dont talk to them;am i right?

i was told that cause they were on drugs and they asked GOd for forgiveness and i also became a christian that it is wrong for me to not talk or see them.i feel im better of not doing this cause of the shame and normal feelings that come up when i had been around dad has said hes sorry but i just dont want to be around u thinkin Gods eyes i am wrong?yes i know the Bible says forgive which i believe i have i just dont feel comfortable around them.


Asked by marykaysauer at 12:14 AM on Oct. 3, 2008 in Religion & Beliefs

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Answers (17)
  • If molestation has taken place and is "current" enough--it should be reported to the police and the molested faced with charges--or as is common--it just goes on to another victim.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I would not be around them either...That was a gross and unholy thing ur father did to u, he is supposed to treat you like a princess and put u on a pedestol for being his daughter,not molest you! I say its better you dont talk to them! I dont care if he is closer to God or not, that is just not acceptable to me!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I too was molested by my father when I was 14. I talked to him and acted like nothing was wrong until July of this year. We got into an argument, and he said to me that I had every right to hate him. I started thinking about it, realized that he was right, and a couple days later I informed him that he was no longer welcome in my house or my life, and that he would not know his grand daughter. After 8 years I finally have written him out of my life. I feel bad sometimes about it, but honestly I think it was the best thing I could do. My SO supports me and I can now start to deal with it instead of having it repressed. Continued...


    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 12:20 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I do not think that you are wrong for not wanting to talk with them. I think that, maybe in time, once you have dealt with your particular situation, you may decide that you can forgive them. But you have a long road of healing to do before you can come to that decision. If you ever need to talk, you can message me. Good Luck honey.

    Answer by CarolynBarnett at 12:20 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • Forgiving doesn't mean that you have to talk to them much less be around them. Forgiving is healthy for you and it just means that you are not harboring any hate towards them. I don't blame you for not wanting to be around them. Forgive them, pray for them and yourself, and then do what you need to do to take care of yourself.

    By the way, I am sorry that all that happened to you.

    Answer by bellasrose71008 at 12:24 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I'm really sorry that you had to go through what you did. Try your best to not let anyone or anything make you feel guilty for keeping your distance. I believe you can forgive and you are not mandated to affiliate yourself with them. Let God heal you and keep doing what your doing. Sometimes it's very easy for other people to push you in a direction they know nothing about.. So keep your head up and continue to move forward. The decision your parents made.. was their decision. Just because they chose the path of drugs and abuse does NOT make it any easier or more acceptable for you. If you feel the need to stay away. Just know there are lots of moms that support you. Always remember God will always supply your needs.


    Answer by threenapuppy at 12:27 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I don't believe even god would ask you to put your self around people who have done something so horrible to you. I was molested as a child and forgiving doesnt mean you forget, what they did is something you have to deal with everyday. You should'nt have to be reminded of that by being around them, that's like putting salt in the wound.

    Answer by musiclovingmomm at 12:28 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • My MIL was molested by her dad. She dealt with it for years and years and her children actually ended up getting molested as well. She finally cut ties with him when she found out what had been happening with her own children and realized some repressed memories. She will never be able to forgive herself for what she believes is what she let happen to her children. He said he was reformed, but from my experience, most people that are sex offenders and the like, are repeat offenders. Forgive him as you have, and then protect yourself and your children from it happening again. No one can blame you for doing what is best for you and what is best for your family.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 12:30 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • You can forgive them AND make the choice not to associate with them. I would just be curious to know did they suddenly want to be a part of your life after you had kids?

    Answer by mrssullivan at 12:48 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I think, in God's eyes, no one is wrong. We are all created to be individuals, and if we come from God, we are God, are nature is what was intended. Just follow your gut. The mind gets in the way of the inner truth we posses. Especially as women, we know the truth.
    Personally, I don't think you are wrong at all.

    Answer by greenfairy9 at 2:27 AM on Oct. 3, 2008