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Was he being a jerk or what?

I had a baby 2 months ago..Yes I said TWO lol. I weighed 183 when I had him. Now I weigh 147 and was thinking I looked pretty good to have had a baby. I didn't get bad stretch-marks and I'm not fat. PLUS it's only been 2 months. I wear a size 10-11 pants now and my stomachj is completely flat. No pooch. I know I look worse no doubt about it, it's a big change from how I use to look but I asked my husband on a scale from 1-10 (10 being horrible) how bad I was to him and he said 7! I really didn't expect it...My mom even got shocked when I told her and she got on to him and said I didn't and I looked a whole lot better than most people do when they have a baby. Now I feel really bad. Do you think guys are setting the "looks bar" a little too high for women to reach now? What can I do about this? Take is into consideration or assume he's being the tpical jerk expecting me to look like barbie?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:24 AM on Oct. 3, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • so sorry.. Yes I think he's being a total jerk. Not trying to make excuses for him but maybe the 7 has nothing to do with your weight. Let's be honest men do not pay as much attention to our waistline like women do. Maybe it was your hair or your clothes.. I have to give you credit.. you are doing great for just having a baby.. I'm sure you get your hair done and a nice push up bra your husband is not going to know what to do with himself!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:33 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • And you smacked the shit out of him, right? lol
    Seriously, I think that's very, very mean!
    But I don't think I would even put my husband in that predicament- even though he would say I was beautiful even if he didn't mean it-(read the first sentence...lol)
    BrendaMomOf3

    Answer by BrendaMomOf3 at 12:33 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • ii think men dont try to be mean they just expect us to look the same before we were pregnant. i told my husband how his "jokes" hurt me and only made me feel worse about myself. you need to tell him that it hurts you when he says things about your weight and as hard as it is realize that you do look good no matter what he thinks. men need to be realistic about the changes pregnancy does to our bodies. also, mabey in his mine a "7" is pretty good,who knows what men think.
    marykaysauer

    Answer by marykaysauer at 12:35 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • wow i think he was being very rude!!!!! i mean if your happy with your body and think you look good then i wouldnt worry about it!!! i have an 11 month old and i still where the same size as i did when i was prego!!!LOL if not even bigger!! not kidding!! i think all guys are jerks when it comes to that!!! they exspect us to go right back to the way we use to be and some girls do but for some its harder!!!! well good luck and dont let him bring you down!!
    k-low21

    Answer by k-low21 at 12:36 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • hey sweetie i just had twins 2 months ago and i think you did pretty good i have a pooch but i don't care what my hubby thinks he married me and he has to deal with me not my pooch witch i know it will go away but slowly, but knowing men i think it just went in 1 ear and out the other and he just picked a number my hubby does that but i know he is joking cause he rubs my rear and gives me kisses
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • maybe he thought you ment 1 bad 10 good? or maybe he was being a smartass becuz he thinks its stupid u would ask (im not saying it but ya know) i know my bf is like that today i asked i he wanted to take a "nap" wink wink lol our code for sex and he was like well if you want to because he figured i would know he was being a smartass but i ended up with my feelings hurt
    mommie2twogirls

    Answer by mommie2twogirls at 1:20 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • makeupYea, maybe he was confused with the numbers...because you know they don't listen. But you know you look good...and thats what counts! Keep it up and make him see a 1 or 10 whichever the number should be!

    QueenAdeela

    Answer by QueenAdeela at 1:45 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • This is the poster. I was very specific in my question. He knew I meant BAD and he was being serious...I think his expectations are just too high or something, but thanks for all the advice! Oh yea and the question was specifically directed to my body only.
    Men must have this very wrong illusion?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I'm sorry to hear you had a baby with such an ass, hon. Because believe me when I tell you, if he was serious and he understood the question, he is a gigantic ASS. If it were me, the next time he wanted a little something, I'd tell him I was too self-conscious because I look so damn bad.
    jespeach

    Answer by jespeach at 3:23 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • HONEY HAVE YOU SEEN THE MAGAZINES, BROADS ON TV, AND THE WOMEN IN PORN? OU R DUMB ASS HUBBIES DONT REALIZE THAT MOST OF THOSE WOMEN ARE AIRBRUSHED. THEY THINK THAT THEY REALLY LOOK LIKE THAT, AND UNFORTUNANTLY FOR US REAL WOMEN, THAT IS WHERE THEY GET THEIR BASIS FOR STANDARDS. IT SUCKS BUT IT IS REALITY. I THINK THAT YOU HAVE DONE A GREAT JOB LOSING WEIGHT FROM THE SOUND OF IT AND IF YOU WANT MY OPINION. DONT ASK QUESTIONS LIKE THAT. I DO IT ALL THE TIME AND NOMATTER WHAT HUBBY SAYS MY FEELINGS GET HURT. I CAN INSECURE AND SO IF HE SAYS TO CLOSE TO BAD I CRY AND IF HE SAYS TOO GOOD I ASSUME HES LYING AND I CRY ANYWAY. IF HE WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU AND STILL SHOWS YOU AFFECTION THEN DONT WORRY ABOUT IT CAUSE HE OBVIOUSLY IS STILL ATTRACTED TO YOU.
    alicia_4307

    Answer by alicia_4307 at 3:26 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

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