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Have any of you had a problem with a family member spreading lies?

I have a cousin who is extremely mad at me. We basically just have different parenting philosophies. Something we were discussing got her really upset for some reason. This was a few months ago. She is still mad and spreading rumors about me. I am a Christian and want to respond the right way. Some family members say we should let go and forgive, but I don't think I should be forgiving someone who is still doing this. It is ongoing and pretty bad. I'm not doing anything against her, but I feel like a sitting duck doing nothing. Any ideas? We have tried talking to her and it just makes her go after me more. I don't really understand why.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:00 PM on Jul. 27, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Wow! This sounds so much like what we have gone through with a family member, and still are. It has been so long, I almost forget how long, I think 5 or 6 years. She is an unsaved relative that we spent a LOT of time with, hoping to lead her to Christ. She spent a great deal of time with our children, and we let her take them out alone, along as there were boundries. We found out that she had taken our oldest to visit several of her friends that we specifically told her we did not want our children around because of their lifestyles, things we don't want them exposed to, and for their safety. When we confronted her, she was angry, but agreed to stick to our rules. It happened yet again, and we found out more things about her own lifestyle that could potentially endanger our children. When confronted again, she responded in EXTREME anger! She has refused to speak to us since. CONTINUED-
    MyGiftsFromGod

    Answer by MyGiftsFromGod at 8:22 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I actually talked with an amazing pastor a few months ago. he really opened my eyes to people like your cousin. He did say that sometimes you have to turn the other cheek. I agree with the previous person, if she knows it bothers you then she feels like she's winning. I am assuming the people she is saying this to is other family, friends? They should know you well enough to know they are lies.
    amymarie0315

    Answer by amymarie0315 at 8:05 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Yes, this has happened and honestly theres not much you can do, the more she knows it bothers you the more she'll probably do it. The important thing is that your family know its not true and know that there all just rumors. In the end it'll be her looking like the bad person for spreading rumors and lies, and no one will trust her.
    babyangelromero

    Answer by babyangelromero at 8:02 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I have a few family members that do that too....What I do is just ignore them. Really, that is all you can do. If your family knows you and knows the truth they too will ignore what your cousin is saying. After all you said you have tried speaking to her about this and it just makes things worse. So I would go on and ignore her. Just tell your family the truth about what is really going on and ask them to please not believe what she has to say. If they want to know the truth they should ask you about it. Good luck.

    lil_Army_Wife05

    Answer by lil_Army_Wife05 at 8:05 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Who cares what she says, especially if you're a christian. In the bible God says "vengeance is mine" He will repay our enemies, I believe that is better than anything we can do, good or bad.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 8:08 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • It has happened but I took this attitude people who have no life of their own will talk about people who do have a life. And bitter mad people do more damage to relationships let it go forgive not for her but for you and let it go you will be the bigger person and remember let her go. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 8:10 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • It happens to me all the time
    I'm always made out to be the bad person
    there's people that I don't even know that don't like me caus eof things this person has said that are not even true
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 8:16 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • yes, I've had this problem. Though there may not be much you can do, do all you can to not be a victim. in my case the person figured the whole world revolved around her. so dh and I would no longer go with everything she wanted.
    how do you know she's spreading lies? do you see posts on facebook or things like that? if yes, then do screen prints. (press the control button then the print screen button usually in the same row as the f-keys, then open up the paint program and hit control V. )
    if someone you trust is getting emails slandering you then ask them to forward them to you.
    document places and times of everything you know.
    then if you end up with ground to sue, you've got something to back you up.
    good luck
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 8:20 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • She spread extremely viscious rumors about us, including that we were abusive parents, and she even made up a promiscuous past for me that never happened! She told members of our church family who didn't know us very well, and some continue to believe them today! It is an ongoing situation because of it. Some family members have told us that we need to forgive and forget. We believe that the biblical model of forgiveness requires repentance. We will not pretend that this hasn't happened and isn't affecting our lives still. We believe that our role as Christians is to not retaliate and to not respond in anger. We would never spread anything about her, even when it is the truth. We will lovingly welcome her back into our home if there is genuine repentance, but until that happens, she is not welcome here. It might sound harsh, but we will not take any more chances with our children and her.
    MyGiftsFromGod

    Answer by MyGiftsFromGod at 8:32 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • We had a run in with my brother a few years ago. Afterward he started telling his side of the story to the whole family. Including my grandfather, and trying to turn everyone against us. It was hard to just say and do nothing, it was so tempting to tell our side. We decided that it wasn't fair to involve everyone and to make them all choose, so we just said nothing and left it at that. It's been over two years now and everyone still loves me and my husband, they treat us great, and my brother is still the outcast. His plan to turn the world against us and make himself look good completely backfired.

    Don't underestimate your family's ability to see through your cousin's BS. If they know you, then they'll know the truth.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 8:49 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

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