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My 15 year old and 9 year old fight constantly.

Both start the fights, and they scream for me in the middle of it. My 9 year old is acting out more, yelling back at me, and generally not being as sweet as he used to be, and I think it is because of the fighting. I feel like locking myself in a room where I cant hear them. My husband is no help at all. He is gone all week and generally doesn't want to help.


Asked by mailcats1 at 8:53 PM on Jul. 27, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (3)
  • I have the same problem here. My daughter is 14 and my son is 9. They fight all the time but she starts it. Like this morning she got up and looked at him and said "You don't even match" is response was "So were not going anywhere." she then starts in on how he never matches and that he's a slob. I try to get her to understand that it's not right to say that to him but she just keeps doing it. She is an honor student and I think because she is so smart she think more like a grown up and not like a kid like she should. So I do know what you are going through and sometimes it just so to say sucks. They are better when we are not home then when we are. She goes to her room and reads and he just plays video games while were gone. I am hoping that once they do get older they will respect themselves and get closer.

    Answer by Koronk1 at 10:56 AM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • My oldest is 27, & my youngest is 18, so similar age difference. I don't know why, but there has always been friction between them. They both get along with their middle brother just fine, but not each other, & either of them can start it. I so understand how you feel. Part of it, I think is the teen years, I think teenagers have trouble dealing with their hormones, & are more aggressive, (& 1 or the other of mine has been a teenager for a long time now) Part of it, I think is competitiveness. I got to the point where I couldn't even leave them both in the house alone because I was afraid they'd hurt each other if I wasn't there.

    In general they're both well mannered, great kids, just have trouble getting along. I've noticed in the last couple of years it's gotten better, but of course my oldest has been out of the house for a few years.

    I guess I'm not much help, other than I truly understand, & can lend an ear...

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:16 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I have 5 kids and I highly reccomend the book SIBLINGS WITHOUT RIVALRY, you can probably get it very very inexpensively on
    Also if you aren't a member of the Moms with Teens group on CafeMom I highly recommend that too for moms with teens AND/OR tweens. It is very helpful and supportive

    Answer by Momof5Teens67 at 11:42 AM on Jul. 28, 2010