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At times, I am a better friend to my son than a mom. What is the best way to talk to him about pressing issues he is going through right know. I guess I want to become a better communicator and gain respects from him so he sees me filling a motherly role more and not just a friend role?

I was divorced from his father when he was two, so I had a short-lived married life. Me and his dad haven't always worked together when it comes to dealing with important parenting issues. My son is starting to make poor decisions that could hurt his future. He is 14, and has always beena good kid. I hate so much to have him go down a bad road and don't wan't to feel the guilt that maybe I have failed him in some way as a parent.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:21 AM on Jun. 29, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (6)
  • I have read that the best way to engage men is to do an activity with them while you talk. Like how men talk on the golf course or fishing. The activitiy puts them more at ease and they find it easier to open up...So mom ...take him out! good luck

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 8:09 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • You have not failed him.Teenagers go thru peer pressure and we don't know it(well,we do now.)Being a friend is fine,but being a Mom is better.By the time he is 14,he knows right from wrong. What he does with what you have taught him is his choice and and NOT your fault if he chooses the wrong road to go down. Keep being Mom, do the best that you can(can't give better than your best,now can you) and be there.

    Answer by Kat122 at 8:13 AM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • Be Mom, not a friend. Play 'what if'.........what if your buddy was going with a girl, who wanted sex, and he didn't....... what you you tell him. (Get him to think the situation through, and voice it to you.) This way you're having a discussion, not a lecture.

    Answer by ToldUNo at 12:29 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • I also have switched gears. Mine is 14 soon to be 15 and even though we have new open door policies I can still revert to "I am the mom dude", it is all we can to to get a flash of clairity in our teenagers world these days as it is. Do the best you can and know it will pass all stages do. The formative years are passed and history is set he knows where you stand and now he must take all he has learned and apply it to find his way, we all have. Good luck!

    Answer by rosetoes at 3:28 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • Be HONEST with him. Show him that respect. and explane what respect you expect in return.
    Also, you can start off by saying "I know I have made some mistakes in the past, by being more of a friend than a mom... but from now on..." etc. something like that. You can acknowledge that you have been being his "Friend" but from today forward, you are going to be a MOM. That doesn't have to mean you are enemies... Talk to him about his poor decisions and how you won't accept them anymore. That starting NOW, he must....

    Remember mom, he has LOTS of friends, but only ONE MOM. BE A MOM! He NEEDS YOU!

    Answer by Keriokeeee at 7:34 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

  • My mom is in the same situation with my sister who is 14. Shes starting to hang out with the "cool" kids. I'll tell you like I tell her... Do something she, he in your case, wants to do when you do most of the communicating. It makes it easier on both parties, and if hes bored hes not listening. Then, you have to set ground rules, as far as curfew and chores and what not and stick to them. If you cave in on small things, he'll remember it.

    Answer by ChasesMommy0115 at 8:30 PM on Jul. 1, 2008

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