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How and why do children from big families turn out so differently from each other???

I am the youngest of 8 children (8 kids born in an 12 year span) and each of us could not possibly different from each other if we tried. What do we have in common? 4 of us (me included) are perfectionists and are driven to excel in school and our careers and although we value our families, our careers are very high on the list of priorities. The other 4? They were satisfied with average grades and are are perfectly content staying home and basing their lives around their husband/spouce and being a stay at home mom or dad. (Background info... our parents own a successful company together and both love their work but neither were able to spend a whole lot of time with us as we were growing up).

 
FeelinYummy

Asked by FeelinYummy at 9:04 PM on Jul. 27, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 22 (15,081 Credits)
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Answers (13)
  • NO ONE is the same if not that would suck !
    13liz13

    Answer by 13liz13 at 9:12 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Because everyone has their own personality.
    beckie66

    Answer by beckie66 at 9:05 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Yep, like beckie66 said, everyone has their own personality. I sit back and think about my 4 kids and eac one has been different from birth.
    SoniaL

    Answer by SoniaL at 9:07 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I agree with beckie66...

    I am one of five and we are all completely different.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 9:07 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I'm one of four and we are all completely different. My mom gets frustrated with two of the kids, because she says she doesn't understand what she did wrong. I keep telling her "nothing, look at sis and myself, we are both successful", but she still blames herself for the way the other two turned out.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 9:17 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I wouldn't expect us to be clones of each other, but I still find it odd that exactly 1/2 (born in every other order) of us turned out driven by business/career success and 1/2 (obviously born in every other order too) turned out as polar opposites from the 4 of us.
    FeelinYummy

    Comment by FeelinYummy (original poster) at 9:21 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Seems like you don't think the others have made good lives for themselves.
    Different things are important to different people. My kids, my home, my husband are the most important to me, that is why I stay home to take care of them. My sister works 60 hours a week and barely sees her kids because material things are important to her. Different priorities.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 9:31 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I definitely do not devalue what they do.. Believe me, I'm a single mom and let's just say, their ships sail a whole lot smoother than mine and on a regular basis I wish I had a little more "nurture in my nature". My point is just to question how or why even though growing up in the same house with the same parents, same rules and MANY shared experiences, we turned out a 50/50 mix and not a 33/33/33 or 25/25/25/25 or any other infinately possible ratio ...????
    FeelinYummy

    Comment by FeelinYummy (original poster) at 9:40 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • "Seems like you don't think the others have made good lives for themselves.
    Different things are important to different people. My kids, my home, my husband are the most important to me, that is why I stay home to take care of them. My sister works 60 hours a week and barely sees her kids because material things are important to her. Different priorities. "
    I usually work at least 50-60 hours per week and material things are not important to me either.. I work a gajillion hours per week for a non-profit, which is dedicated to the education and advocacy for people aged 7 - 21 with severe and multiple disabilities but because most of our funding is from grants and donations my 17 year old son makes more money dollar per hour than me since he gets paid by the hour and I get paid the same whether I work zero hours or 100 hours in a week,
    FeelinYummy

    Comment by FeelinYummy (original poster) at 9:48 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Just proves that personality has a lot to do with what happens in your life. My husband was one of 4 boys he was more than 10 years younger than all of them and was raised with none of them. I have 2 sisters I am oldest the youngest is 3 years younger than me. I have 5 children and counting, my middle sister has no children but, wants to have foster child(ren) when she is stable (she is 25,) my younger sister has one child and says she is not having anymore I am mostly raising her son and I would probably end up with any future children unless she got pregnant by an awesome guy. I guess children are bound to turn out different no matter whether there are 2 or 10 in the family. Sorry, I started rambling.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 10:48 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

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