Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Are you insecure?

My husband cheated a long time ago (4 yrs or so). But sometimes I am still afraid he will do it again. I know I should be over it by now but I just cant. I trust him, but I am always afriad that one day he will find someone else. Or his ex will come back into the picture and he will leave me for her. If youve been cheated on how long did it take you to get over it?

Answer Question
 
maddoxsmama

Asked by maddoxsmama at 9:24 PM on Jul. 27, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (168 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • not at all.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:25 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • IM not incecure in that way, just about my looks im fat!
    DeeMarie87

    Answer by DeeMarie87 at 9:26 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I never got over it. My husband and I did eventually split and we've been seperated for over 3 years, I don't want to be with him anymore and yet it still pisses me off when I find out he lied about something else when we were together. I'm not particularly insecure because of it - since I wasn't the first nor the last woman my ex cheated on so the problem is obviously him.
    momof2inCT2007

    Answer by momof2inCT2007 at 9:29 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I don't think you can ever trust them again, like you said in the back of your mind will they leave you for someone else. I give you a lot of credit, I could not do it.
    sta517

    Answer by sta517 at 9:29 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I am not that insecure at all
    MOMTHEROF3

    Answer by MOMTHEROF3 at 9:35 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I used to be. My x cheated on me but now what I have with SO is strong. He taught me to be secure in who I am. Remember that every moment you think about what happened 4 yrs ago you give the other woman power and control over your life. Take back that power and control your life now. Live in the now. Enjoy each moment you have with him. Your negative energy from insecurity can push a man away. They are attracted to confidence. Be confident in who you are. Appreciate who he is and tell him you think he rocks. Men love that kind of attention! Keep that in mind bc other women feed a man's ego like that. You can give him all he needs. Believe that and you will be fine.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:37 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I am not insecure it would be so not worth it.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:38 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I've never gotten over it and it was in the beginning of our marriage. To this day I still wonder if he'll do it again, I can't say that I 100% trust him but I can say that I've forgiven him. Believe me, forgiving is not about letting him off the hook, it's about letting me find some peace. He knows that I haven't forgotten (and most likely never will) but I don't dwell on it. It was a mistake that was made during a rough time and he's paid the price. You'll never completely get over it but the trick is to get past it. It's normal to feel the way that you are, your trust was shattered, it takes a while to piece it back together. Keep communicating with him, let him know your fears (afterall he broke your trust he has to be the one to mend it).

    Good luck and if you need to talk I'm hear to listen :)
    colethky

    Answer by colethky at 9:38 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • I will say yes I am. My husband has never cheated on me but my first husband did. He was stationed in Korea and got around.....So in the back of my mind I am waiting for the ball to drop....My husband says he never could do that to me or our children but still you never know!! I am very insecure with alot of things....
    lil_Army_Wife05

    Answer by lil_Army_Wife05 at 9:49 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

  • Im not insecure at all. My husband boosts my cofidence
    MKSers

    Answer by MKSers at 9:50 PM on Jul. 27, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN