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My friends are just not into what I am into any more and it is straining our friendships...

Ever have this experience? Please share

I rarely talk to most of my girl friends. They are all young like me, from 19 to 23 but are either, not in school, no kids, not working, living with parents etc. It makes it hard to even relate anymore because, well, we have different lives now.

I visit with them, they visit with me, but we aren't as solid as before. I don't even know what to do because their life consists of bumming around, partying, and no responsibility.

Mine consists of being engaged, having a small child/infant, starting up a business(actually starting it finally, done planning) and being a Full-Time student.

I know one other mom, and she is a single mom, no drive, no GED, no nothing. It's hard to even talk to her because I have so much drive, she has so little, I don't understand why she doesn't do anything for herself.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:31 AM on Jul. 28, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • That's a tough age, because most people are transitioning from teen life to adult life & lots of people don't want to make that transition. A lot of them want to continue partying & being irresponsible. The same happened to me when i gave birth at 19m but i also moved far away from home from Boston to Atlanta. So i REALLY had no friends. I started making some friends, but they were a lot older than I. Which i guess was good though, because i was getting along with them good & they seemed to be more like me than some of my friends back home who were still doing drugs. It will take some time. This is a good time for you to concentrate on yourself & grow. You will find new friends & some of your old friends will eventually start having babies too. Just be patient. Go to the baby groups at the library or something, you'll find plenty of young moms there.


    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:44 AM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • Life is not a race... Enjoy the friends you love and trust.

    As you get older life will pull at relationships... some will last, some will not... but you can still care about someone without them being your motivational twin.

    Answer by Niki_sd at 1:35 AM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • Honestly, you can still be friends, but at the same time, accept that people grow and change at different directions and speeds in life. It doesn't mean you don't care about each other, just that you don't have as much in common at this point. Maybe it would be good to try to meet some other people that you have more in common with now. You don't have to stop talking to them or anything, but just sort of expand your circle to include those you have more in common with at this stage of your life.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 1:37 AM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • i know how you feel there are relationships are just weird now because i cannot leave on a dime i am in school.. life is hard right now. .. sad how many people lease when you get responsible

    Answer by MoMoFu at 1:38 AM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • Well this is a good place to start making some new ones. I have had the same problem myself actually.........I have ONE (yes only one) friend and I can't even really call her that anymore. She is about 5 years older than me and always has acted like a kind of big sister more than a friend, She has a son 8 years old and I have a son 2 years old, when she had her son I was annoyed that she had all these restrictions on hanging out (like she could not go out until her son was in bed (at 8:30) and could not stay out long because she had to be up early with him. I did not like it but I understood. Now that her son is older and in school she wants to go out and party and now that I have a child myself, I don't at all. I would rather just be home with my son and have no desire to go out anymore whatsoever and she can't seem to understand that. Every mother is different, motherhood changes women in very different ways.

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 1:46 AM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • This question reminds me of the commercial where it shows a dad hanging out with his sons... talking about how you would have never guessed that you "would get to a point where nothing could beat a boys night IN"

    I suppose I am at that point now. I was a club rat, out 4 nights a week when I was young... but now, I love to be home with my husband, kids dogs. I do still go out (rarely), but honestly girls night at a bar dancing till midnight can't hold a candle to movie night and weekend big breakfast with my family.

    It's just growing up.

    Answer by Niki_sd at 2:02 AM on Jul. 28, 2010

  • Sometimes when one or the other friend goes through a major life change, the other cannot deal with it or even respect it. That is when you need to move on and find others who can respect your lifestyle.

    Answer by truthteller0722 at 1:50 AM on Jul. 28, 2010