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We are all mothers here or parents in some respect. Does it bother anyone else that there are so many questions/posts about drinking and partying? Who is watching the children when these "parents" are off doing this? It really bothers me mostly because my sister constantly (some times for days) leaves her 12 y/o twins home alone.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:33 AM on Oct. 3, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (14)
  • Some people are not ready to have children. Their priorities are not in the correct place. They need to realize that their children come before anything else including themselves

    Answer by LaBoucane at 5:05 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I would have to step in and take custody of the children if I was able to. That is child neglect if they are alone. I'm sorry your in this situation worrying over your sister's children. Your sis needs help of some sort. I wish you all the best, especially the children.


    Answer by Southerncharmes at 2:35 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • My mother always was a drinker/drunk. It hurt me in so many ways. I dont talk to my mother anymore because of it. I have 3 kids of my own and I dont want them around her and her addictions. I think that if parents want to "party" it should only be for special occasions and the children should have a sitter for the entire night. Your children look up to you and you dont want them to go through what I sent through. They are the ones that decided to have children and your life changes when you have children. Grow up!

    Answer by LaBoucane at 2:47 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I noticed that too...a beer or drink once in awhile but...partying? I dont get it. Oh well. Some people weren't ment to be parents.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:28 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • Wow thats harsh "some people weren't meant to be parents" no wonder you submitted that anonymously! I do agree that it should be rare occasions and the children should have a sitter for the entire evening.

    Answer by Tams_jade at 4:56 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • "Some people weren't meant to be parents"

    As "harsh" as it may sound, it is true. My SIL was not meant to be a parent. She would have a baby then pass it to her mom to raise so that she (my SIL) could keep her "party-girl" lifestyle up. She would LITERALLY give the baby to her mom as soon as she left the hospital after giving birth. She has had three kids (two of which were born addicted to drugs at birth) and doesn't have custody, pay child support or visit any of them. She admits to being a bad mom and it doesn't bother her at all. She even brags about it when she's drunk or stoned (which is almost always). My older brother isn't much better himself.


    Answer by AvasMommy810 at 5:48 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • i don't know which posts you are talking about so i can't really say it bothers me or not, but i don't think anyone has the right to go assuming someone is a bad parent unless the post is blatant. i personally don't drink, but i don't believe it's forbidden once you become a mother. i know people who like to take a party night once a month as a break from the grind.
    i would consider the age of the people who post these posts you don't approve of. the younger the mother, the more likely she will still miss her previous lifestyle and may still be in transition. there are bad parents out there of course, (neglect is unacceptable) but i don't think we should be out pointing fingers at everyone. it's self righteous and judgemental. for every mother you've labelled a "bad" one, i'm sure there's a mother who doesn't agree with you 100% either (which is oh so apparent on cafemom because people love to get in eachothers' faces).

    Answer by juliness at 6:24 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • Well I am not sure what posts you are talking about either, I see nothing wrong with having a drink every once in a while. I also know with my group of friends we tend to get together with the parents and the children. We sit around and talk or play cards and have some drinks and the kids are there with us. They are either playing or watching a movie.

    I think that as long as you are there for your children, drinking and partying do not necessarily mean that you are a bad parent. You could be a bad parent with out doing those things.


    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:27 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • If you want to play cards,throw darts and drink...whatever, get a sitter. Your kids don't need a role model for how to hang out with friends and drink. They do not need to see you behave the way most who have had a few do. You cannot tell me your kids would stay in the other room and never come out and see how you all look and act while drinking. Lets be real, at least about that.
    However, I think the original post was meant in reference to the constant posting from those that consistantly drink and party in general. It was my understanding, and I agree, that it was posted about too much. That is what my impression was about the original post . Not that you should not have fun or "party", just be careful as well as a good role model for your kids and not make a habit about discussing when you want to get drunk,are drunk,buzzed or what you are consuming right now while typing.

    Answer by grades123abc at 8:19 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • americans are the only people that would ever have this discussion about alcohal. my family is german, my husband is english. we grew up w/ everyone drinking and the age being 18. despite having seen my entire family drink since i was a baby, i have NEVER seen my parents drunk. the first time i saw my grandfather actually acting drunk was 3 years ago.
    again, I DONT DRINK, so my parents and my husband's parents are obviously not poor role models. don't blame the symptoms of bad parenting. blame the individual for actual behavior. i sincerely doubt that cornflakegirl is getting wasted with her children present, so don't imply that because she and her friends get together and comsume some cocktails that they are involved in poor role model behavior. it's just as ignorant as being a drunken fool in front of children.
    moral: you have to accept that you are not the only mother who thinks she's right

    Answer by juliness at 8:51 AM on Oct. 3, 2008