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is it my fault that my fiance is moody and never communicates with me unless he wants to

he does whatever he wants and never even considers me or lets me know. he says he pays all of the bills so he can do whatever he wants. i take care of house and his needs best i can and the kids and he always makes me feel like a loser that weighs him down. claims he loves me with all his heart but i know its not normal behavior. am i the problem causing his moodiness?

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Asked by nikkio72 at 3:35 AM on Oct. 3, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • I don't think you could be all of the problem. You might be a small amount, but then, who wouldn't be? He probably feels the weight of his responsibilities on his shoulders. It's hard being a father and a spouse and the breadwinner, it's alot of pressure. I'm not saying your life is a cakewalk either, BTW. I just think that he's got alot on his plate and he's stressed. When you need one more thing from him, he just snaps. Show him some extra attention, tell him how much you appreciate how hard he works for his family. If you give him what he needs, he's much more likely to help you with what you need. Good luck Mom!

    Answer by shmorris56 at 4:00 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • I do not think you are a problem. I think it sounds like he doesn't respect you. My hubby pulled crap like that on me when I wasn't working or going to school. Have you tried talking to him? Have you considered going back to work and/or school (not for him but for you). I guarantee he will change overnight if something like that happens. I hate to say it but it's true. Sometimes men can be real jerks.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:06 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • Why on earth would you blame yourself for someone else's emotions? He has free will and thought of mind . . . if he's upset or something, he should communicate that to you so you can both work on fixing the problem. If he's directing his emotions towards you just because you're convenient, well, then it sounds like you're dealing with a 3-year old. Have some self-respect; he sounds like an immature slob. If HE won't change, then YOU change. He may say he loves you, but he certainly does not respect you. Kick him to the curb.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:02 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • Sounds like he is a self-centered jerk tell him to step off and go find yourself a real man, if you want one. BTW is his name Vincent.

    Answer by mrssullivan at 7:24 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • It's not your fault he's moody and just because he pay'sthe bills doesn't give him the right to do whatever he wants. He has no right to make you feel like a loser, you need to tell him that if he doesn't start treating you as his partner then he needs to leave.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 7:39 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • thank goodness you have not married this man! think about you- you are not responsible for his lack of concern for you- treating you like this is not 'love'- girl you can do bad by yourself and paying bills is a fact of life. you mentioned 'kids'- how many do you have? and sage advise will tell you that having another child will not help. really think about how he treats you and compare that to how you want and deserve to be treated, think it over very carefully and then yes, talk to him about how you feel, give him time to respond and think it over as well. if nothing changes, last thing to do is to walk down the aisle into a life that you see is not what you want................

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:38 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • One person is not responsible for the behavior of another. He chooses how he acts.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:41 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • Run Like Hell because it won't change after you get married!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

  • agreed. either he learns to respect you or he leaves. the choice is his.

    Answer by imanixon2 at 10:05 AM on Oct. 3, 2008

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